Erotica! 50 Shades of Enticing Female Fantasies: Leah

GetLusty for Couples has some more erotica for you! We're kind of addicted to the stuff. How can't you be?! Try reading this to your partner tonight while cuddled up in bed. Our favorite erotica writer, sex educator and counselor, Dr. Limor Blockman never disappoints. She's got a new story for her series of steamy 50 Shades of Grey inspired female fantasies. Enjoy her new seductive tale, Leah.

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Leah

I’m fixing my little skirt seconds before I exit my mini cooper, careful not to show anymore skin than is intended.

This is my first time walking around in public with no underwear and a very short skirt. A few months ago I decided to take my sexual awareness up a few notches and experiment with different outlets that I find titillating and exciting.

As I cross the parking lot on my way to the convenient store, I notice these shiny, brand new, absolutely gorgeous Harleys lined up against the sidewalk. About 20 bikers were sitting around chatting. It seemed like they were taking a break from a long ride.

The minute I notice them, I feel a sensational wet wave of desire crawl up my thighs and into the very magical crannies of my wet holes. It rises to my belly button, reaching up to my hard nipples and ends in my salivating mouth. I lick my lips and try to maintain myself. My short skirt is facing a hell of a challenge in the face of this insatiable turn on lined up before me.

One of them notices me and passes the word. Within seconds, they’re all turned, staring at me walking flirtatiously in their direction. I try my best to keep my cat walk believable. If they only knew how tough it is to stride along when all I want to do is run over to them and stick their fingers in my eager pussy.

In a beautifully synchronized manner they get on their bikes and start their engines. As I pass by they break into a choppy sonata – music to my ears. The gesture leaves me soaking wet. I smile and blush like a teenager, waving nonchalantly at them as if I can take it or leave it.

I push open the door into the convenient store and rush to the restroom.

I pad the floor with paper towels and sit, pushing 3 fingers into my insanely wet cunt while rubbing my clit. Within seconds I’m almost cumming – panting and moaning as quietly as I possibly can, trying hard not to tear off the buttons of my shirt as I’m desperately trying to grab on to my bare nipples.

I cum, intensely, soaking the paper towels in a pool of warm juices. I feel weak and drained but so refreshed and relaxed; I wish I could take a nap right now. I wash up and stare at myself in the mirror.

“Really Leah? Did you just cum in a public restroom because you’re a crazy over-sexed nympho that can’t keep her panties on in the presence of masculine tattooed bikers with big cocks? Oh that’s right, you didn’t even have a pair on to begin with.” I fix my hair, my makeup, my skirt and exit the restroom.

I walk over to the counter, only to notice they’re still out there. “What are they waiting for? Oh god I’m not going to be able to control myself on the way back to the car,” I murmur quietly.

A few minutes pass by and I decide there’s no other way. I guess I’ll deal with whatever comes.
“Hey sexy, whatcha doing right now? Wanna join us for a ride?” Their “leading guy” is 6' 2", a mountain of muscles, tattooed sleeves and a charming smile. I melt again.

“Leah, nice to meet you guys, where you headed?” I ask politely, as if it matters. All I can think of is being gangbanged by these guys. “Hop on gorgeous, we’ll show you around.”

I walk over in silence. They could have told me to strip down to my birthday suit right there and then and I would have done it, no questions asked.

As I sit behind him my skirt lifts up, just enough for a few of them to notice my bare, swollen holes.

I wrap my legs around his body; this open feeling is so erotic, I’m afraid I’m going to cum on the way.

The ride takes no longer than 15 minutes. We end up at this small shack that, as they explain, belongs to one of their co-riders, who is currently out of the country.

“Well Leah, when are we going to get to see the rest of that sexy body?”

They sit around the living room; the door is open to the wide yard, some of the group members are hanging out outside, still dealing with their bikes.

I don’t say a word – just walk over to the large sofa chair he's sitting in. As I come closer, he spreads his legs, welcoming me in. I stand before him, methodically unbuttoning my shirt, exposing my large tits and my very hard nipples.

“Wow honey, you truly are some serious hot stuff,” he opens his jeans and pulls out his fully erect cock.

Behind me, the others are pulling out their cocks. I remove my little skirt, climb over, position my pussy over his erection and sink onto him. He releases an incontrollable moan, and I start riding him hard, devouring his cock in full.

I hear the action behind me – a few of them are stroking their cocks. His hands are covering my body, pinching my nipples, caressing my clit, my thighs, my ass. “Suck some cock for me, beautiful.”

Two of them come around, handing me their large erections. I take one in my mouth and stroke the other, then rotate between them back and forth.

“Oh sugar, you are such a pro! Yeah you sexy slut, ride this cock hard baby.” My body is filled with incredible sensations of desire, pain, heat, lust, quiver, hunger and confusion. It almost feels as if I’m not even there.

He turns me around and sits me down on his cock, facing away from him. He lifts my thighs and fucks me harder. He's fucking me so hard and fast that I can't keep the others' cocks in my mouth, so I simply stroke them with my hands.

Unexpectedly he pulls me up and without any notice, penetrates my ass. I moan is agonizing pleasure. “Oh god I can’t, not yet, slowly honey,” I beg him! He rubs my clit and goes slow.

“Don’t worry gorgeous, you’ll be my anal queen in no time.” Minutes after, I feel more relaxed hosting his cock in my ass. He teases me, taking it in and out.

“You want some more, sugar? You want a cock in your pussy? Want to be sandwiched in our cocks? Beg for it baby!" I plead and groan, “Oh yes, please. I need it, I want all of your cocks.”

“Good girl, Leah. Here it comes.” My pussy is penetrated hard, different cocks taking turns fucking my mouth. My pussy is rotated through all of the bikers, but he keeps my ass all to himself.

“Are you ready honey? We’re going to cum in your ass, in your pussy and in your mouth." I nod and surrender to the warm streams of passion rushing into me. My ass and pussy are filled. They pull out and carefully sit me on the sofa chair, then allow me to suck my juices off of them.

The others surround me and release their cum all over my mouth, my breasts – my entire body.

I’m in heaven.

Dr. Limor Blockman is a world-renowned clinical sex counselor, practicing as a relationship and family counselor, a sex educator, advice columnist, speaker and author. She holds a PhD in Human Sexuality, an MA in public health and community medicine, and a BA in psychology and behavioral sciences. She has published three bestselling books (published in Hebrew) and reaches people worldwide through print, TV, radio, Internet and video. Find out more about Limor through her website, Facebook or follow her on Twitter @DoctorLimor. Have you heard of Dr. Limor's newest book? Published in English, the "365 Daily Tips for Outrageous Sex & Intimacy."

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6 Ways to Be a Powerful & Loving Dominant

You've just read Fifty Shades of Grey, or maybe your partner has, and now your curiosity about BDSM play has seriously piqued. Taking the fantasy inspired by books, and bringing it into fruition in the bedroom may seem a little daunting at first. Especially to a beginning dom/me. Here at GetLusty, we believe that some fiction can become a reality, Portia Blush at ErogenoUS gives us five key ingredients that every dom/me should remember when beginning their new adventure into the world of BDSM play.

Definition: A domme is a female dominant also known as a dominatrix. A Dom is a male dominant, though these spellings are occasionally interchanged. These are also interchanged with top and bottom.

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#1 Communication

Communication is lubrication, I always say! What better way to get the erotic juices flowing than to talk about your fantasies with each other! Communication is an extremely important part of any relationship, but even more important in the realm of BDSM play.

Whether you and your partner have been together for awhile, or are new to one another, ask your partner what their fantasies are, what new experiences they would like to try and explore, as well as what things they are not into, and do not wish to do. This will give an erotic map of sorts, and makes a fantastic starting point for exploring this new journey into kink together.

You can also fill out what is known in the community as the "play partner checklist". If you're just starting out this list can seem a bit overwhelming and scary, but it too will provide both you and your partner with a starting point for more advanced exploration, as well as a list of negotiable and hard limits. Knowledge is power!

#2 Mutual satisfaction

Domination is not simply about ordering your submissive around, and having your own desires met. It's about mutual satisfaction and fulfillment. A lot of people new to D/s exploration assume that, as the Dominant in the relationship, it's all about meeting their own fantasies and desires, when that is simply not the case.

Your submissive has fantasies and desires too, as well as needs to be met just as you have. Finding out what those are, and blending them with your own in a harmonious way, will bring a symphony of erotic pleasure and fulfillment for the both of you. D/s is a dynamic in which we exchange power, and that power flows from the bottom, up to the Top. Remember, your submissive is giving you a gift in their submission to you. Respect it, and use it wisely.

#3 An exceptional imagination

Leather pants and a flogger does not, a dominant, make! It's very easy as a new dom/me to get caught in the trappings of toys like floggers and riding crops, and forget about the mental and emotional aspects of dominance and submission. Flex your mental muscles and use your imagination. Create an aura of dominance using just the way you move, speak (or don't speak), and act.

Look to characters in books and movies to inspire you. What is it about them that makes them a good example of dominance in your eyes? For me, it was always a cross between Linda Carter as Wonder Woman and Diana, the leader of the alien invasion in the mini-series "V". Find what inspires those feelings in you, and make it your own.

#4 Ingenuity

Again, it's easy to get caught up in all of the new gear that the world of BDSM play has to offer. While nothing beats the smell of a new suede flogger, having one from the start is not a necessity. You don't need to go out and spend hundreds of dollars on toys to start having a good time playing!

A little ingenuity goes a long way! That handy silicone spatula from your kitchen makes a great spanking tool, as does the flat back of a hairbrush! The aisles at your local pet store will be most useful as you choose which pretty colored nylon collar and leash to use with your new submissive. Or have fun repurposing that cat toy, the plastic wand with a feather on the end, as a caning/sensation toy on your new submissive!

One of my favorite toys is a battery operated electric fly swatter; a paddle with the added bonus of an electric “zap”! You would be surprised just what kind of toys you can come up with with just a little stretch of the imagination, and little stretch on the budget. Have fun with it!

#5 Safety - Physical and Emotional

Safety is an important part of good play. Remember, one of your most important roles as a Dominant is caretaker of your submissive. Make sure you know what you're doing, and be prepared in case of an emergency.

 A pair of EMT sheers is great, and I think a must, to have in your play bag. They will cut through rope, leather, or clothing in a hurry, without risking cutting your submissive in the process. It's better to lose that expensive leather than it is to lose, or endanger, the life of your submissive. If you get a new toy and are unsure how it may feel, the best way to find out is to test it on yourself first. This way you not only know how it feels, but what the effect would be with varied application, or on various areas of the body.

Also, remember that beyond the physical aspect, you are also in care of your submissive’s emotional well-being, too. Designate a safe word; a word that when spoken, will mean that all play must cease immediately. A safe word should not be words like "no" or "stop", as these are sometimes fun to say in scene play. Instead, it should be something that is totally unrelated and wouldn't be something that you would unconsciously utter in the course of play, like "banana" or "trumpet".

#6 Remember aftercare

Lastly remember that it takes a lot of vulnerability, emotionally as well as physically, to submit to another, so respect that your submissive will need some "after care" beyond the scene itself.

The adrenaline and endorphins heightened during a scene often cause drastic changes in mood afterwards. This is sometimes refereed to as "Sub Drop". Be aware of this, and make sure to check in with your partner even a day or so after the scene has ended to make sure they are feeling emotionally secure.

With these tips in mind, you are well on your way to some exciting and delicious D/s play. Remember, in this age of readily available instant information research is your friend. Learn as much as you can, to be the best that you can. Have fun, and play safe!

Seeking to shatter the myth that "nice girls don't talk about sex", and somehow trying to survive her mid-30's in suburbia without large doses of vodka, Portia Blush is a saucy Sapiosexual who shares with an infectious wit and a candid vulnerability about her explorations of sex, love, intimacy, kink, the occasional obsession, and everything in between; one true story at a time.

She has over 10 years experience playing Switchy in the BD/SM scene, and has explored a myriad of relationship configurations from monogamous to poly. She holds a BFA from some hoity-toity NYC art school, and still ponders the meaning of life on a regular basis. Follow her on twitter @erogenousblog and Facebook and of course, ErogenoUS her blog.

You have read this article 50 Shades of Grey / advice / bd/sm / D/s / Dominance / Portia Blush with the title 50 Shades of Grey. You can bookmark this page URL https://lamentoeternal.blogspot.com/2012/12/6-ways-to-be-powerful-loving-dominant.html. Thanks!

Erotic Story: My Doctor Fantasy (NSFW)

Who doesn't love some erotic fantasy for foreplay? We've heard from Dr. Blockman about her steamy fantasies before. We're excited to have a continued installment. It seems that a particular erotica novel has had quite an influence for many of our GetLusty community. 50 Shades of Grey has stimulated some stories of their own. Dr. Limor Blockman shares another 50 Shades-inspired fantasy for your reading pleasure.

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My doctor fantasy 

I have always had these intense fantasies about my OBGYN. He seemed strong, knowledgeable and very aware of every aspect of the female anatomy, which in itself intrigued and titillated me immensely.

Every time I would make an appointment, I would get a little wet and excited, knowing that this is going to take place soon, again. I arrive at his clinic 15 minutes early, his kind assistant takes my insurance card and asks me to wait.

Anticipation can be a very strong aphrodisiac, and I immerse in it completely. This time he came out, escorting his last patient. While he firmly shakes her hand, he glances over at me, ready and flushed in his waiting room. He comes toward me, and walks me over to the room, his hand resting on my back.

“How have you been Delilah? Great to see you. This is a routine checkup, I’m guessing?”

I was so excited that I could hardly speak, so I just nod in approval. The thought of his firm, sensually invasive hands inside my wet hole get me lightheaded and blurry eyed.

“I’ll leave you to get undressed and get Mary to join us, OK dear?” Oh fuck, I didn’t count on Mary being here, but he never examines me or any other patient without her presence, so I guess I’ll deal with it.

Mary comes in the room first, opens the screen separating me from his sitting area and offers to help me with my robe. “You look so pretty today De, did you change your hair or something?” Mary looked awfully cheerful and happy, I almost felt invaded by her.

“I got a new hair color, and cut it a bit. Glad you like it honey”.

“Now lie back beautiful, the Doc will be with you in a minute, OK? Try to relax!” She straightens my robe and slides her hand over my pussy, in a casual way… “Oh god, could this be happening? Is she aware of my intense lust for the sexy Doctor and “wants in” on it?

I could feel myself getting wetter and more excited, when his voice stops my colorful imagination mid-way. “Ready or not, here I come!"

He opens the screen and stands in front of me, carefully placing my legs in the chair, pulling my waist down further. “Are you comfortable dear? You need to be, I’m just here to make you feel better...”

He lifts my robe, my extremely open, throbbing wet hole, is exposed to him. “Can I take a closer look, you seem to be a little inflamed there… Does that hurt?” he asks as he slowly closes his index finger and thumb on my clit. I burst into a million pieces “This is it, it’s really happening, I’m going to finally get to feel his most craved cock inside me,” I’m thinking, hoping my thoughts are not verbalized involuntarily.

I gasp and spread my legs even wider, inviting him in with a twist of a motion. He lowers his chair in front of my open hole, pulls in, and buries his face in my wetness. His luscious lips, his generous tongue, his long fingers, drive me insane, and I’m about to explode in agonizing pleasure. Mary peeks in. I’m so hot and excited, I don’t even pay attention.

“Allow me to take over, would you Doctor?” She rubs his shoulders and takes his place in front of me, licking my clit with the enthusiasm of a child in a candy store. The Doctor moves closer, kisses me passionately and opens his pants slowly, exposing a beautiful huge cock.

“Suck it hard, Delilah. I've been fantasizing about you and that sexy mouth ever since your first visit.” I opened my mouth wide, closing my hands on his shaft, sucking his pre-ejaculatory juices and caressing his scrotum. He sighs and gasps with excitement, growing in my hands and mouth, shoving his head back into my throat. My gag reflex kicks in, but I fight it and keep going, swallowing his huge cock, loving every minute of it.

He caresses my breasts and pushes Mary’s head down my pussy, rubbing my clit with his fingers and ordering Mary to attend my ass.

“Oh, what a pretty asshole you have De, let me lick it ready for the Doctor. We want to get you all lubricated for this enormous gift."

I’m going into a pre-orgasmic state as she pulls out of my pussy and penetrates my ass with her fingers. I’m heated and excited, but managing to curb my orgasm, as long as my clit is left unattended for the moment. Her fingers open me up, so softly and carefully, I can tell I’m not the first “lucky winner” of this prize. Who knows how many dedicated patients are getting gang-banged by these two.

The Doc slowly pulls his firm erection out of my eager mouth. I stare at him, mesmerized and excited like never before.

“And now, get ready for the real show my darling De, I promise to be gentle…” He pulls my ass further down the chair, so that I’m hanging in the air, with my legs still in the holders, spread wide to his comfort. Mary moves over, kisses me lusciously and starts caressing my engorged nipples, my wet quivering hole and my swollen clit. He slowly penetrates my tight asshole, I ache in pleasurable pain, releasing a soft moan that gets him even more excited.

“You like it, sexy De? You like my huge cock in your petite asshole? Oh god I know I do.”

He increases his motion, pushing his erection deeper and deeper into my ass. Mary works on my clit, pushing her fingers into my pussy, matching the Doctor’s intense motion. I’m gasping and panting, spreading my legs even further. A strong sensation takes me over. I’m about to squirt intensely. “I’m cumming. Oh god Doc, I’m cumming,” I whisper.

“Yes De, cum for me darling. Take me all in and cum. I’m just about to cum in your ass!” I squirt a shower of warmth, wetting Mary’s hands and upper body.

“Oh you’re so good. You’re just as responsive as I imagined, beautiful,” she murmurs.

The Doc releases a moan and a splash of cum goes through me like a jet. He pulls out and rushes over to my mouth. I swallow his warm cock covered in my taste, as Mary licks my ass and pussy to finish.

Dr. Limor Blockman is a world-renowned clinical sex counselor, practicing as a relationship and family counselor, a sex educator, advice columnist, speaker and author.

She holds a PhD in Human Sexuality, an MA in public health and community medicine, and a BA in psychology and behavioral sciences. She has published three bestselling books (published in Hebrew) and reaches people worldwide through print, TV, radio, Internet and video. Find out more about Limor through her website, Facebook or follow her on Twitter @DoctorLimor.

You have read this article 50 Shades of Grey / Anal / books / cunnilingus / fantasy / threesome with the title 50 Shades of Grey. You can bookmark this page URL https://lamentoeternal.blogspot.com/2012/11/erotic-story-my-doctor-fantasy-nsfw.html. Thanks!

Erotic! 50 Shades-Inspired Fantasy for Foreplay

Though Shades of Grey September is long over, we're still fantasizing. And what better time than a Sunday to read erotic stories for foreplay? Dr. Limor Michelmen, our favorite saucy doctor, is here to take you on an erotic journey. Read on.

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I have been living in my apartment for two years now, but for some reason, even in this new, beautiful building, the construction never ends.

The one thing I never really found aversive, to say the least, is the sexy presence of the construction workers. Something about a strong man in a hard hat always titillates me.

I get in the elevator with Joe, Mark and Jason. They’re all dressed in their heavy gear, greeting me as I nod my head, smile and stand in front of them.

I have fantasized about each and every one of them so many times. It almost feels like they can read my mind. I’m wearing my low-cut, back revealing blouse, so I’m thinking, "My semi-nudity will excite them, sans exposing my extreme arousal," as I brush against Joe’s arm, entering the elevator.

They gentlemanly allow me to exit first, I drop one side of my blouse and reveal a tanned shoulder, Mark sighs, just enough for me to hear it.

As I walk in the garage, my panties are already drenched. I’m checking my watch: I have an hour to get to work. I have a choice of a quick pleasuring session in my car, or a relaxing cup of coffee, but after this elevator ride, the choice is clear. I’m getting in my car, lowering my sit to get comfortable and checking the garage. “Good I’m all alone." Tinting my windows was probably my best gift this year, given the fact that these guys have been keeping me so hot and bothered lately.

I pull my little pink rabbit out of the glove compartment and pull down my jeans. I’m so wet, I don’t even need to lubricate my throbbing hole. The rabbit slides in smoothly and closes tightly on my engorged clit. I choose my favorite elevator fantasy to get myself going:


I enter the elevator as I did this morning, the three Gods of sexual healing are standing there, flashing their hot, muscular arms and sweaty chests. Mark reaches over and turns a key, the elevator stops between floors.

My favorite, Joe, runs his rugged hand down my shivering back, coming closer and kissing my neck. “You know where this is going baby, don’t you?” he whispers in my ear. My nipples are about to tear my blouse, my heart races as I nod. Breathless. Jason pushes over and stands in front of me, slipping his hands under my blouse, grabbing my breasts and pinching my eager nipples.

"Oh honey, I think you’re ready for us, right? Just relax sweetheart, we’ll take good care of you," he promises, as he unzips my jeans, not taking his eyes of mine.

Joe starts peeling my blouse, exposing and caressing my breasts.

Mark is smiling as he pulls out a very large erection, and starts caressing his shaft. “You are even hotter than we imagined darling,” he compliments me and speeds his thrust. Jason gets down on his knees and pushes my soaked thong aside. “Look at this beautiful, wet hole. How excited are you now honey?” he is shoving two fingers into my quivering vagina, I’m so turned on, I just want to scream and beg him to fuck me.

He plays with my swollen clit, pushing his fingers in and out of me, then peels my panties off and starts lavishly licking my wetness. His stubbly, semi bearded face, is soaked in my juices, he seems to enjoy it immensely, but not nearly as much as I do. I’m just about to cum, as Joe decides to torture me and stops eating my pussy. I’m staring at him, like a child that lost her favorite doll.

“Don’t worry princess. It’s better to extend your pleasure, you really think we’ll leave you hanging?”

Mark and Jason place me comfortably on the elevator floor, and rotate positions. Now Mark is in charge of my clitoral pleasure. He’s doing a very good job.

Jason and Joe get down on their knees, placing their enormous erections close to my eager mouth. “Oh God boys, I can’t wait to swallow both of you. I have been fantasizing about tasting you for so long!" Joe is super excited, thrusting his shaft fast. I grab both in my hands and start rotating them in my mouth, occasionally fitting both of them together, to the best of my capacity.

My mouth is small and they find it thrilling, watching me struggle with their large erections.

I’m shoving my rabbit harder in my hole, pulling its power all the way to the top. I’m just about to cum wildly, as an alarming knock on the tinted window, throws me off my upcoming, well anticipated, orgasm.

It’s him, it’s Joe… turns out he has been watching me for a while, now what? I pull out my wet rabbit and place it under my seat. I pull down my blouse and crack open the window, looking all flushed and breathing heavily.

“Hi Joe, what’s up?” A part of me hoping to make this go away, while another is craving his beautiful big cock inside me.

“Oh honey, you know we’re way past pleasantries, right? Come out of the car, we’re alone here.” I must be crazy, I do as he orders. We’re standing very close, our bodies almost touch. I can smell his sweet aftershave.

“I know you want me, baby. And you definitely know you make my cock hard every time you swing by with that delicious, sexy body. So what do you say? Forget masturbating in the car and let me fuck you senseless?”

Oh, well! Now that he put it so subtly, I nod positively, whispering “please fuck me” in his ear.

“Get down on your knees sugar, I’m going to fuck your mouth!"

I oblige quickly, this only makes me more excited! I have been robbed out of my “almost climax” twice now, but this agonizing anticipation is glorious to me.

He pulls his big erection out of his pants, I place it firmly in my small hands and start licking his throbbing head, placing it in my mouth, on my lips, playing it with my tongue while caressing his scrotum. He gasps in pleasure, I feel him growing in my hands. I start eating him, pushing his huge head deep inside my mouth and throat. “Oh baby, you’re so good, take me all the way in. Please don’t stop!”

I play with him, pulling him out and then quickly placing him back in the moist warmth of my mouth, consuming him almost completely. “I would love to cum in your mouth honey, but I know I stopped you mid pleasure, so I’ll be fair."

I keep shoving his erection in my mouth until he forces me to stop. He grabs my charged body, peels down my jeans and throws me on the hood of the car. “Let me devour this beautiful pussy of yours."

He starts pleasuring me, his tongue going up and down my swollen lips, enveloping my clit.

His hands find my breasts, pinch my nipples and caress my entire flushed body. I can’t stand it anymore, I need to feel him inside me.

“Are you ready for me baby?” his strong arms turn me around swiftly. He positions me on the hood, shoving his fingers in my extremely wet hole, opening me up some more, with a wet finger in my anus.

I gasp with anticipation as he cleaves my quivering pussy with his enormous cock. “Fuck me baby, oh god. I’ve been craving this for so long” I scream.

“Take it honey, take my 10 inches all the way, that’s right. You look so gorgeous." We cum together, wet fluids cover our thighs. He picks me up, kisses me passionately and places me slowly on my feet, I’m floating...

Dr. Limor Blockman is a world-renowned clinical sex counselor, practicing as a relationship and family counselor, a sex educator, advice columnist, speaker and author. She holds a PhD in Human Sexuality, an MA in public health and community medicine, and a BA in psychology and behavioral sciences. She has published three bestselling books (published in Hebrew) and reaches people worldwide through print, TV, radio, Internet and video. Find out more about Limor through her website, Facebook or follow her on Twitter @DoctorLimor.

You have read this article 50 Shades of Gray / 50 Shades of Grey / better sex / fifty shades / foreplay with the title 50 Shades of Grey. You can bookmark this page URL https://lamentoeternal.blogspot.com/2012/10/erotic-50-shades-inspired-fantasy-for.html. Thanks!

Do 'Vanilla' and 'Kinky' Sex Crossover?

We have used the terms "vanilla" and "kink" a lot around here. But, why should we be so exclusive? Plenty of people out there could fall into both categories and not even know it! Sunny Megatron, sex educator and sex expert, wants to rid us of those two words because we all have a little vanilla and a little kink in us. Its not fair to corner yourself to only one side. We written extensively on BDSM, and Sunny Megatron is our sex educator extraordinaire, so read on!
* * *

When it comes to vanillas and kinksters there’s a real “us” and “them” attitude. It’s like the Sharks and the Jets (Yes, I’m showing my age . . . and my love for musicals. Quiet, or I’ll dance fight your ass). If you’re one, you can’t be the other. You should never let it be known you occasionally associate with the opposing side, right? Look how badly that turned out for Tony and Maria. It’s also assumed if you’re on one side, you think the other is less than worthy. Breaking it down to basic stereotypes, vanillas think kinksters are scary and weird. Kinksters think vanillas are unadventurous and boring.

I can’t tell you how many times a self identified vanilla has asked me, “How do I tell my partner I want some new things in bed? I’ve never told them I like some light spanks and nibbles— even a hand on the throat sometimes. I’d love for them to take charge a bit more and be more demanding. I also really enjoy role-playing. But don’t think I’m into, like, *makes the face* BDSM or anything. All that crazy stuff is just too freaky for me!”

Clothing

I’m not sure what most people think BDSM is? Sawing people in half while wearing all leather? Let’s examine a few “other side” observations about BDSM: The Outfits Practicing BDSM does not require special clothing. Yes, I’ve heard people say, “How silly would I look practicing S&M!? No one wants to see my muffin-top popping through a latex catsuit!” Or “I wouldn’t mind taking charge a little bit, it could be fun— but there’s no way I’d even try kink because of those outlandish get-ups they wear!”

You can be naked, in work clothes, lingerie, jeans and a sassy sweater, a baseball uniform, a space suit– whatever you like! The clothes in no way define the action. Yes, the leather and whips are what we see in porn, magazines and on TV— that’s because it’s flashy (and hot to spank it to). It’s also a stereotype. Nope, I don’t want to see my muffin-top in a catsuit either and I can’t walk in heels to save my life– but I still practice BDSM. I often do it in the ratty old nightgown I got from Old Navy.

BDSM acronym explained 

The Acronym BDSM stands for Bondage & Discipline/Dominance & Submission/Sadism & Masochism. It can be one or more of these things but for many it’s rarely all. Sometimes do you like your lover to take charge, pin you up against the wall and give you direction? That’s dominance and submission.

Do you like to give your partner a smack on the ass or hold them a bit tightly? What about a little bite or nibble? Have you ever left a little mark that’s visible the next day? Sadism! If you like receiving, that’s masochism.

Do you enjoy restraining your lover? Pinning their hands behind their back or above their head? Perhaps tying their wrists or ankles together with a scarf or tie? Bondage!

If you have done any of these things, you are practicing elements of BDSM without even realizing it.

Also, kinky people do not necessarily like every kind of freaky activity under the sun (most don’t). Just because you enjoy being tied up every once and a while does not mean you also have to like pain and vice versa. If you are into the BD but not the SM you are still technically considered a practitioner of BDSM. It’s a common misconception that people have to be into the B, the D, the S and the M to be considered kinky.

The gear 

Many assume you need to have: expensive floggers, whips, ball gags and a saw-a-person-in-half machine to effectively practice BDSM. Have you ever used a scarf or tie to blindfold a partner? Yes? Then you’ve engaged in sensory deprivation on a dime!

Use that same scarf or tie to restrain their hands or feet— we’re back to bondage again. What about that French maid costume from three Halloweens ago you got out that one night to surprise your partner just for kicks? Sexual roleplay! You can even grab some clothes pins out of the laundry room for impromptu nipple clamps. While you’re in the laundry room, grab the clothes line rope too— it’s great for restraint. Even something as simple as a wooden kitchen spoon makes a wonderful paddle.

Whether you’ve used these items in a vanilla setting “once just for fun” or intended to use them for sinister and mysterious (that’s sarcastic) BDSM, you’ve discovered pervertables! Pervertables are common household items repurposed as sexy/kinky accessories. With pervertables you can get your kink on for little to no money. Many of us, vanilla and kinky alike, have used pervertables (think cucumbers or that phallic shaped shampoo bottle that was popular in the 90s. Uh huh. You know you did).

The only piece of gear you must have to practice kink is your mind. They always say the greatest (vanilla) sexual organ is the brain— the same goes for kinky sex. All you really need is your imagination and creativity.

Public play

“BDSM sounds sort of interesting but I just can’t do it. I can’t have sex in front of people or go to kinky parties! Also, I’m in a happy monogamous relationship, I can’t do that with other people—EW! That is just NOT my thing!” Yes, some kinksters do go to parties, play publicly and play with multiple partners even if they are in a committed primary relationship. Those folks are only a small piece of the pie, however.

 There are scores of people who identify as kinky but only share that with their partners. They don’t belong to internet groups, go to parties or shout it from the rooftops. We’re not sure how many of those are out there but I’m willing to bet it’s quite a few. Then add to that the people who are kinky who don’t realize they are (the “I’m into hair pulling, spanking and I occasionally like to go in the bathtub and pee on my partner but I’m not into any of that freaky BDSM stuff or anything” types). See where I’m going with this?

Public players are usually very dedicated to their sexy hobby. They also aren’t afraid to tell everyone about it. These folks have blogs dedicated to kink, join BDSM social groups and websites, they are even the people writing the BDSM books. Just because the public kinksters have the loudest mouths, it doesn’t necessarily mean they are an accurate representation of the entire kinky pie.

Think of public kinksters as the crisscross patterned golden crust everyone sees on the surface of the pie— but what about the hidden sweet filling?

Private BDSM players

Much of that pie filling is comprised of private players. These are your neighbors who like to get their freak on alone in their bedroom once a month when the kids are away on a Cub Scout sleepover. It’s your roommate who told you one night after a few beers they prefer lovers who are rough, commanding and pull on their hair. It might even be you. Many of these pie filling people don’t even realize they are kinky! But how could that be? How can someone not know they are practicing BDSM? Well, namely because there really is no “US and THEM,” a least not in a clear-cut sense. When it comes to vanilla vs. kink activities there’s a huge crossover. Break it down like this, for instance . . .

Are you vanilla or kink?

Vanilla acts = regular intercourse, oral sex, kissing, light touching, giggling, etc.

Kinky acts = spanking, retraining, biting/nibbling, telling someone what to do/doing as told, pain (hair pulling, squeezing, pinching, etc), role-playing, using toys, etc.

Most of us, self identified kinky or vanilla, engage in activities from both categories during play. I’m kinky but I still engage in intercourse, oral sex and pretty much everything from the vanilla list. I can guarantee a large percentage of the vanilla folks dig some of the stuff on the kinky list also.

When it comes to sexual/intimate activities we can’t agree on what is kinky or vanilla. To some, sex toys are kinky but to others, they are commonplace. On which list would you put anal sex? 69? Cumming on someone’s face? Tickling? Calling your partner a “good little whore”? Pinching nipples very hard? It’s all subjective.

The writing of this blog post was inspired by the mental image of a Venn diagram that popped into my head randomly a few nights ago. I’ve drawn it out for you. Forgive me for using Microsoft Paint. Part of my brain still lives in 1997.

On the vanilla side we can include basic activities like kissing, snuggling and missionary position sex with the lights out. The kink side would clearly include some of the more extreme things such as play piercing/blood play, scat and perhaps clown sex.

But again, this is all subjective. I can’t really put electric play in the Kink category because housewives of middle America are currently loving the Jopen Intensity vibrator/kegel exerciser. That toy is marketed to the mainstream but operates based on the same principles as a TENS unit (usually associated with BDSM). These vanilla ladies are receiving the exact same sensation as they would from an insertable BDSM electric device but they’d never guess!

Stop "us" versus "them" 

So what’s the point? Simply, stop playing “Us and Them.” Pointing the finger at others prevents us from experimenting, growing and discovering what we enjoy sexually. It ultimately keeps us from being happy.

If I’m into BDSM and I feel like having a slow, tender, vanilla lovemaking session I should be able to tell my partner I want that without fearing they’ll think I’ve lost my edge. If I’m vanilla and have been longing for my lover yank me by the hair and give my ass a good smack, I should be able to ask for that without being afraid they’ll think I’m a weirdo. It’s not about living up to your self proclaimed label, it’s about doing what feels right.

Homework

Your task: ask your lover to try out that thing you’ve been thinking about but we’re too afraid to bring up for fear they’d think it was out of character for you. You might find it’s easier than you imagined to delve into some of those things you always thought would remain just a fantasy.

Originally posted at Sunny Megatron's blog.

Sunny Megatron is a pleasure advocate, adult sex educator, sex blogger, sexpert, and unintentional superhero. Sunny not only hosts Red Light District Sex Tours for Weird Chicago Tours, she also teaches classes such as: Networking for Kinky People, BDSM 101, and Junk for Your Junk: Sex Toys 101. She is passionate about sex positivity, sex exploration and sex education/safety. The female orgasm is one of Sunny's favorite topics and she has helped hundreds of women have their very first G-spot orgasm.  

You have read this article 50 Shades of Gray / 50 Shades of Grey / advice / bd/sm / BDSM / fifty shades / Sexuality / Sunny Megatron with the title 50 Shades of Grey. You can bookmark this page URL https://lamentoeternal.blogspot.com/2012/10/do-and-sex-crossover.html. Thanks!

FemDom Series #2: Intro to Cuckolding

It's still Fifty Shades of Grey September! So we get to talk about dominance, "FemDom" or Female Domination as a duality in BDSM play. Just like it's title, the female takes on the Dominant role, and the male, the submissive. On the outside, this relationship is very similar to other relationship gender configurations in BDSM coupling. On the inside however, there are a few areas of play and fetish which are uniquely intrinsic to this particular dynamic. Last week in FemDom Series #1, Portia waxed enthusiastically about the erotic joys of Forced Feminization in FemDom play.

This week we're continuing our exploration in this boundlessly sexy realm with another fetish unique to this dynamic; Cuckolding. This scene involves three people, which will also take a lot of talking. Even if it's just a fantasy at this point, review & learn.

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Talk, talk, talk

I want to remind you all, before we go too deeply here, that all of the play in BDSM that I speak of is consensual. The key to healthy sexual expression is that everyone participating is a consenting adult. At the core of this fetish, as with many others in BDSM, the submissive has already given their permission to the dominant, although from the outside looking in it may seem otherwise. Before engaging in any of these activities with your partner, I suggest reading Negotiation 101.

What is Cuckolding?  

Cuckolding is a fetish in which the submissive male gets off sexually on the humiliation of watching his Mistress pleasured by other men. Sometimes, it does not even have to include watching, and can come (pun intended) from just knowing they are being pleased by others. It is unique to FemDom relationships in that, primarily, this fetish subculture centers around the female as Dominant, and the male as submissive.

Unlike most masochistic play in BDSM where the submissive gets off on physical pain, Cuckolds, or "cucks", are aroused by the psychological pain of humiliation.

It's an intensely cerebral fetish. It is a literal "mind fuck"; requiring a level of intellectual cunning that goes beyond the skill of wielding of a crop or a flogger. In addition to the voyeuristic component of Cuckolding, the humiliation aspect is paramount to the submissive. They want to be told, and shown, that they are not worthy to please their Mistress sexually, that another man/woman is better, more deserving, and more desirous than he will ever hope to be. The mental anguish they suffer caused by their Mistress is akin to the pleasure of her physical touch.

What's Mine is Mine, and What's Yours is Mine

Inside this fetish are some interesting facets of play that may, or may not, be part of the relationship negotiated. Orgasm control, orgasm denial, and forced chastity are often part of Cuckolding. All of these techniques are used for two specific reasons. One, to remind the submissive that his body, and all of it's pleasures, belongs to the FemDom alone, and two, to further his humiliation. A FemDom may limit how and when the submissive is allowed to orgasm, let alone touch himself sexually. She may also withhold this as either a form of punishment, or training, depending on the relationship dynamics. The pleasure he receives from being her "cuck" should be all he desires.

Mocking of his cock size, lack of masculinity to her liking, and of his utter lack of skill are all part of this. His humiliation is carried out in the reinforcement of these notions. In some cases, total celibacy through forced chastity may be required of the submissive. To ensure his chastity, some FemDoms will require their submissive to wear a chastity device to keep his cock under lock and key, literally. Only she gets to decide when, where, and how her property gets used, and this device serves as a reminder. I hate it when people play with my toys without my permission, don't you?

A Word On "Felching"

His pathetic cock might not be worthy to please you, but that worthless cuck is good for something! Put him to work and avoid the messy hassles of clean-up. Some FemDoms, after allowing their submissive the pleasure of hearing, knowing, or watching a real man please her, will give her cuck the gift of cleaning her up after sex.

This is done by eating her out, and sucking all the other man's cum out of her vagina. In fetish circles this is known as "Felching". The degradation provided by this is a thrill for the cuck. He feels useful in knowing that, while he is not only not worthy of her, he can clean up after the man who is. He is rewarded the pleasure of servitude, and of the debasement at her discretion. That truly is the gift that keeps on giving!

Sometimes, such a pleasure is not allowed the submissive. No need to forgo the fun! Consider giving that cuck a cum facial instead. Some FemDoms will save the used cum-filled condoms from their chosen desirable partners, and empty them on the face of their cuck, giving him a "facial" with the more worthy partner's cum. Equally humiliating, and creative. You may also choose to empty it onto a small plate for him to lick clean as you watch. It really is up to your own personal devious taste. Oh, the puns!

As Always, Safety First!

Although the activities I described involve higher-risk behavior in terms of STI (sexually transmitted infection), they have often been a common practice within Cuckolding. If you engage in these, it's important to know, and trust, the sexual health status of all parties involved. This is care for you, as well as your submissive's health and well-being.

Humiliation play of any kind of a delicate sword that must be wielded with precision and care. It's important to really know and trust your partner well, the more intensely involved your relationship dynamic is. Your not only playing with someones body, but with the intimate and vulnerable corners of their psyche. A bruise from a misplaced flogger is easy to see and goes away after a few weeks, while a psychological bruise is invisible and can be devastatingly long-lasting. Trust and knowledge of your partner is imperative before engaging to this depth. Remember humiliation during a negotiate scene is wonderful, while humiliation after a scene has ended is irresponsible and damaging to one's trust.

Care for your submissive's safety, both physical and emotional. during and after scene, are key. Depending on the structure of your relationship, whether scene by scene, or 24/7 TPE (Total Power Exchange), aftercare will vary greatly. Aftercare can vary from "cuddling" to "clean up and let me alone for awhile". Talk about what both you, and your submissive need after scene, just as much as what you need during.

While Cuckolding in FemDom relationships may be for some, it's not for all. It can be an intensely erotic form of play. Whatever you decide: have fun! If you're not enjoying yourselves, than what's the point? Live juicy my fellow sexplorers! Have more questions about Cuckolding? Contact Portia Blush below for more information!

Seeking to shatter the myth that "nice girls don't talk about sex", and somehow trying to survive her mid-30's in suburbia without large doses of vodka, Portia Blush is a saucy Sapiosexual who shares with an infectious wit and a candid vulnerability about her explorations of sex, love, intimacy, kink, the occasional obsession, and everything in between; one true story at a time.

She has over 10 years experience playing Switchy in the BD/SM scene, and has explored a myriad of relationship configurations from monogamous to poly. She holds a BFA from some hoity-toity NYC art school, and still ponders the meaning of life on a regular basis. Follow her on twitter @erogenousblog and Facebook and of course, ErogenoUS her blog.

You have read this article 50 Shades of Grey / BDSM / Cuckolding / Dominance / Felching / Female Domination / FemDom / fetish / forced chastity / orgasm control / orgasm denial / Portia Blush / submission with the title 50 Shades of Grey. You can bookmark this page URL https://lamentoeternal.blogspot.com/2012/09/femdom-series-2-intro-to-cuckolding.html. Thanks!