How Common Is Anal Sex?

As we've noted before, one of the most common questions around sex is, "Am I normal?" Some people--women and men alike--enjoy anal sex. So how common is this practice? GetLusty for Couples staff writer Traci Saiz is here to talk about the frequency of this sometimes taboo topic.

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You may have heard that anal is considered “dirty” or “taboo” and no one does it. But how true is that really? At GetLusty, we figured you and your partner may be wondering; just how common is anal sex? The truth is a surprising amount of couples regularly try anal. Whether you do, don’t, or happen to be curious: here is the 411 on anal pleasure. Many couples are asking, are we the only ones? Well the numbers are in and we are happy to announce: anal sex is on the rise!

A 2008 report by the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) shows that 36% of straight women and 44% of straight men admitted to having tried anal sex at least once in their lives. These statistics are higher than those reported by the Kinsey Institute Study conducted from 1948-1953. The late study reported 11% of males engaged in heterosexual anal sex. The increase shows a positive perspective on anal pleasure.

Whether you are hetero, homo or bisexual everyone can enjoy anal and there is nothing taboo about it! You know you are at least a little curious... so go ahead! More people are enjoying it every day and even if anal isn’t your favorite thing it’s at least another way to add some variety to your (already steamy) sex life.

So just how much fun can anal sex be?

Both men and women can experience a new sensation from performing anal sex. Your man likely really wants to try anal! You don’t need to jump right into it. Try a relaxing massage or warm soothing bubble bath to start things off. Then see where the evening takes you. Try a finger or two just to see how your partner feels, grab some lube and go slow and easy. For pegging, try our simple 10 step how-to. Anal can be very sensual and sexy.

Communicate during sex where your comfort levels are throughout and be open to the experience. The best thing about anal sex is the new exploration of pleasure for both of you. Keep in mind there are plenty of other ways to engage in anal stimulation, including: beads, fingers, etc. You can also incorporate toys for some extra fun.

Anal has potential to be painful and even awkward; be it your first time, or you perform anal on the regular, it is something to keep in mind. The trick is to ease into it, keep communication open and ask your partner their thoughts beforehand. Go slow, relax, have fun, and get into it. Anal is not scary or dirty. However, one may feel intimidated and insecure when performing anal sex. This is why communication is important. Keep your partner in the know on how you feel about the situation, during and after. Be sure you are both on the same page, comfortable and ready.

Anal may not be everyone’s cup of tea but those of us who do love it, really love it! Give it a try; don’t be shy, let go of you inhibitions and uncertainties. You never know how much pleasure you both can have until you give it a go. The next best thing to your orgasm is the closeness and openness you two share in knowing you can be completely comfortable together, even if it gets messy. Trying something new will only open up new adventures and excitement for you both to share.

Nothing is taboo in the bedroom (or wherever you have your fun). Whatever you and your partner are into is sure to be sexy, special between you, and never to be ashamed of. Anal is just another avenue to explore and have fun with. Keep in mind the polls are in and anal is another sexy position couples are raving about. So, whether it’s your first time trying it or your 100th, enjoy!

Speaking of having adventurous sex, have you 'Liked' GetLusty on Facebook yet! Have you followed us on Twitter yet? We're @getlusty there. We're also on Pinterest and Tumblr, too!

Traci Saiz is a Southern California native but a Chicago girl at heart. She has a B.A. in Marketing and mentors on the side. She is a sports fanatic, a fun-seeking traveler, and passionate in nature especially when it comes to sex. She believes sex is a key element in a relationship and it doesn’t have to be “movie” sex but it has to be fun! She is not afraid to bare her dirty secrets (actually she doesn’t seem to have any). This gal is definitely not shy and loves to discuss relationships and sex with anyone and everyone! Follow Traci on twitter @TraciAlaina or find her on Pinterest.

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Erotic Story: My Doctor Fantasy (NSFW)

Who doesn't love some erotic fantasy for foreplay? We've heard from Dr. Blockman about her steamy fantasies before. We're excited to have a continued installment. It seems that a particular erotica novel has had quite an influence for many of our GetLusty community. 50 Shades of Grey has stimulated some stories of their own. Dr. Limor Blockman shares another 50 Shades-inspired fantasy for your reading pleasure.

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My doctor fantasy 

I have always had these intense fantasies about my OBGYN. He seemed strong, knowledgeable and very aware of every aspect of the female anatomy, which in itself intrigued and titillated me immensely.

Every time I would make an appointment, I would get a little wet and excited, knowing that this is going to take place soon, again. I arrive at his clinic 15 minutes early, his kind assistant takes my insurance card and asks me to wait.

Anticipation can be a very strong aphrodisiac, and I immerse in it completely. This time he came out, escorting his last patient. While he firmly shakes her hand, he glances over at me, ready and flushed in his waiting room. He comes toward me, and walks me over to the room, his hand resting on my back.

“How have you been Delilah? Great to see you. This is a routine checkup, I’m guessing?”

I was so excited that I could hardly speak, so I just nod in approval. The thought of his firm, sensually invasive hands inside my wet hole get me lightheaded and blurry eyed.

“I’ll leave you to get undressed and get Mary to join us, OK dear?” Oh fuck, I didn’t count on Mary being here, but he never examines me or any other patient without her presence, so I guess I’ll deal with it.

Mary comes in the room first, opens the screen separating me from his sitting area and offers to help me with my robe. “You look so pretty today De, did you change your hair or something?” Mary looked awfully cheerful and happy, I almost felt invaded by her.

“I got a new hair color, and cut it a bit. Glad you like it honey”.

“Now lie back beautiful, the Doc will be with you in a minute, OK? Try to relax!” She straightens my robe and slides her hand over my pussy, in a casual way… “Oh god, could this be happening? Is she aware of my intense lust for the sexy Doctor and “wants in” on it?

I could feel myself getting wetter and more excited, when his voice stops my colorful imagination mid-way. “Ready or not, here I come!"

He opens the screen and stands in front of me, carefully placing my legs in the chair, pulling my waist down further. “Are you comfortable dear? You need to be, I’m just here to make you feel better...”

He lifts my robe, my extremely open, throbbing wet hole, is exposed to him. “Can I take a closer look, you seem to be a little inflamed there… Does that hurt?” he asks as he slowly closes his index finger and thumb on my clit. I burst into a million pieces “This is it, it’s really happening, I’m going to finally get to feel his most craved cock inside me,” I’m thinking, hoping my thoughts are not verbalized involuntarily.

I gasp and spread my legs even wider, inviting him in with a twist of a motion. He lowers his chair in front of my open hole, pulls in, and buries his face in my wetness. His luscious lips, his generous tongue, his long fingers, drive me insane, and I’m about to explode in agonizing pleasure. Mary peeks in. I’m so hot and excited, I don’t even pay attention.

“Allow me to take over, would you Doctor?” She rubs his shoulders and takes his place in front of me, licking my clit with the enthusiasm of a child in a candy store. The Doctor moves closer, kisses me passionately and opens his pants slowly, exposing a beautiful huge cock.

“Suck it hard, Delilah. I've been fantasizing about you and that sexy mouth ever since your first visit.” I opened my mouth wide, closing my hands on his shaft, sucking his pre-ejaculatory juices and caressing his scrotum. He sighs and gasps with excitement, growing in my hands and mouth, shoving his head back into my throat. My gag reflex kicks in, but I fight it and keep going, swallowing his huge cock, loving every minute of it.

He caresses my breasts and pushes Mary’s head down my pussy, rubbing my clit with his fingers and ordering Mary to attend my ass.

“Oh, what a pretty asshole you have De, let me lick it ready for the Doctor. We want to get you all lubricated for this enormous gift."

I’m going into a pre-orgasmic state as she pulls out of my pussy and penetrates my ass with her fingers. I’m heated and excited, but managing to curb my orgasm, as long as my clit is left unattended for the moment. Her fingers open me up, so softly and carefully, I can tell I’m not the first “lucky winner” of this prize. Who knows how many dedicated patients are getting gang-banged by these two.

The Doc slowly pulls his firm erection out of my eager mouth. I stare at him, mesmerized and excited like never before.

“And now, get ready for the real show my darling De, I promise to be gentle…” He pulls my ass further down the chair, so that I’m hanging in the air, with my legs still in the holders, spread wide to his comfort. Mary moves over, kisses me lusciously and starts caressing my engorged nipples, my wet quivering hole and my swollen clit. He slowly penetrates my tight asshole, I ache in pleasurable pain, releasing a soft moan that gets him even more excited.

“You like it, sexy De? You like my huge cock in your petite asshole? Oh god I know I do.”

He increases his motion, pushing his erection deeper and deeper into my ass. Mary works on my clit, pushing her fingers into my pussy, matching the Doctor’s intense motion. I’m gasping and panting, spreading my legs even further. A strong sensation takes me over. I’m about to squirt intensely. “I’m cumming. Oh god Doc, I’m cumming,” I whisper.

“Yes De, cum for me darling. Take me all in and cum. I’m just about to cum in your ass!” I squirt a shower of warmth, wetting Mary’s hands and upper body.

“Oh you’re so good. You’re just as responsive as I imagined, beautiful,” she murmurs.

The Doc releases a moan and a splash of cum goes through me like a jet. He pulls out and rushes over to my mouth. I swallow his warm cock covered in my taste, as Mary licks my ass and pussy to finish.

Dr. Limor Blockman is a world-renowned clinical sex counselor, practicing as a relationship and family counselor, a sex educator, advice columnist, speaker and author.

She holds a PhD in Human Sexuality, an MA in public health and community medicine, and a BA in psychology and behavioral sciences. She has published three bestselling books (published in Hebrew) and reaches people worldwide through print, TV, radio, Internet and video. Find out more about Limor through her website, Facebook or follow her on Twitter @DoctorLimor.

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Inflating Anal Toys: 4 Reasons You Should Try Them

Desire a more fulfilling anal experience? There's more out there than regular ol' butt plugs. Frances Denzel provides us with four benefits of using an inflatable butt plug instead of a regular butt plug. Bottoms up!

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“My girlfriend said our sex life was getting dull, and I should try to think outside the box. So I stuck it her up her arse.” Yes, this is a joke, but there is some truth hidden between the lines… Anal exploration is often the final frontier of erotic playtime and an attempt at making the sex life more exciting.

Inflatable anal toys are one of those mysterious adult products associated with fetishism, and often considered too “hardcore” for many people. In my experience, more people will reach for a large butt plug over an expandable one. Are back-door inflatables really worth the hype or is this a novelty you should leave on the shelf? I personally think they are a wonderful invention worth consideration. This is why:

#1 Less Strain on the Sphincter Muscles 

The anus is a sphincter made for exiting, not entering. Deep inside the rectum are nerve endings that enhance sexual enjoyment, and tapping into this potential with a larger plug feels better, ultimately creating a conflict between safety and enjoyment. The inflating plug inserts with the same girth as a “medium” sized plug, expanding into a “large” plug once inside, saving your sensitive sphincter. If the plug is too large it’s very easy to tear the delicate tissue surrounding the opening. As a side note, some people like using desensitizing anal lube which, personally, I don’t think is a good idea. This is because if the area is numb it creates the possibility of tissue damage, which doesn't make for a pleasant trip to the doctor’s office. An expanding plug can give you girth without the painful entry.

#2 More Even (and Better) Internal Pressure

One of the top benefits of anal toys is adding pressure around the rectum and rubbing sensitive nerve endings, enhancing sexual pleasure. Inflating a balloon inside allows the expanding latex to ease into every crevasse, shaping itself specifically to caress every internal detail. All this occurs evenly as you squeeze the hand bulb, maximizing the space of contact for the most “full” feeling possible.

#3 Maximizes Comfort during Intercourse & Sex Toy Use

Another reason adults purchase butt plugs is to wear them during sex. Amplifying every thrust, the larger the plug the more sensation you’ll feel as the vaginal canal becomes tighter. The inflatable plug is very soft, concaving inward with each advancing thrust of the penis (or vibrator), effectively preventing any stiff pinch or uncomfortable poke. A disadvantage of a large solid plug is they can’t accommodate movement, pushing on the body and increasing the possibility of discomfort.

#4 Silent vibration

Most inflatables also vibrate. I find myself easily distracted by loud buzzing noises, certainly I’m not the only person with this sentiment, and many sex toys are crazy-loud. The motor in an inflatable is contained inside the solid core of the plug. When the balloon is inflated, the noise is well absorbed by the hollow latex bubble making this one of the most silent sex toys ever.

It’s easy to understand how an expanding plug can seem intimidating with squeeze bulbs, wires, and cords all hanging from the base, but remember you don’t need to inflate the entire 3 inch girth. Even if you only give it a few pumps with the bulb, the difference in sensation between this style and a standard plug is very interesting, and a superb way to “try something out of the box”.

Check out the toys Frances is talking about and see for yourself at http://www.theadulttoyshop.com/anal-toys/inflatable.

Cross posted with permission from Sunny Megatron's Blog.

This was a guest post from Frances Denzel that originally appeared at SunnyMegatron.com. Frances writes erotic advice columns helping couples share in one of the best parts of being human – enjoying great sex. She promotes a healthy love life through guidance and education with a humorous twist.

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3 Must Read Books on Anal

We have written a lot about anal sex. From the ultimate guide to anal sex to five must have anal sex toys, we have covered it. However, if you want to learn as much as you possibly can about anal sex, you might want to check out the books below! We have written on the best books for marriage, books of giving better blowjobs, and cunnilingus, and now we think it is time to give our bums some love too. Without further adieu, here is our pick of the three best books on anal sex!

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#1 The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women (2nd edition)
By: Tristan Taormino 

The second edition of Tristan's amazing book, has been revised and updated throughout. Tristan included all new chapters specifically for beginners and for women giving anal pleasure to men. This is a comprehensive and creative book on anal sex. Tristan Taormino offer the kind of informed reassurance that can encourage even an absolute beginner to explore this nerve-rich part of the body, either alone or with a partner of any gender. Anal sex enthusiasts may need no encouragement, but will welcome Taormino's sense of adventure and her detailed discussions of toys, fantasy play and positions.

Beginning by dispelling common myths about anal eroticism, Taormino goes on to illustrate anatomy, give tips on building trust and communicating desires, and provide reliable, easy-to-understand information on safety, preparation, hygiene, and much more. This new edition has been substantially expanded and revised to include new information on masturbation, anal health, BDSM and anal sex, and many other topics. In a new feature, Taormino answers actual reader questions.

Salon.com says it is "The bible of female anal sex!" and Time Out New York says Tristan "is the go-to girl on anal sex."

#2 Tickle My Tush: Mild to Wild Analplay Adventures for Everybooty
By: Dr. Sadie Allison

TIckle My Tush is a smart guide for men and women to the true pleasures of the under-explored seat of love. With Dr. Sadie's trademark tongue-in-cheek narrative, together with over 60 tasteful illustrations, this guide book clearly shows how to enjoy these newfound thrills-comfortably, safely, and pleasurably.

This book goes from "mild to wild" so curious couples can find their personal approach and comfort levels at their own pace. Be as mild as you want with sensual butt massages or anal finger play, or read about butt toys, innercourse and "pegging" to experience wild orgasmic sensations. Feel confident with the tips and techniques that dispel myths and skyrocket pleasure. This is the most approachable how-to analplay guide.

"If I'm gonna take advice from someone about my tush, it's gonna be Dr. Sadie. Her style and humor are pleasant and informative and she's not afraid to leave out any embarrassing or important details. Remember, that's where Cosmo gets its advice from!" -Eleni Solomou, Columnist, Cosmopolitan Magazine

#3 Anal Pleasure and Health: A Guide for Men, Women, and Couples

By: Dr. Jack Morin, Ph.D.

 
For many years the focus of fear and disgust, the anus is actually one of the human body's most wondrous creations- elegant, efficient, and richly supplied with pleasure nerves. However, stress and ignorance can turn the anus and its functions from a source of delight into a painful disability. What's needed is an owner's manual- and here it is!

Join therapist and sexologist, Jack Morin, Ph.D., on this tour of the anus, complete with information and exercises to open the door to new sources of comfort and gratification. You'll unlearn habits that can cause everything from hemorrhoids to chronic pelvis pain- and, if you choose learn new ways of achieving solo and partnered pleasures through this humblest of portals.

"Anal Pleasure and Health is the original guide to anal eroticism and still the greatest." -Michael Castleman, author, Great Sex

Lora is on our editorial team and is our resident health nut! When she isn't writing or editing, you can find her on her yoga mat, exploring Chicago via bicycle, or hanging out with her wonderful boyfriend in their north side apartment. She has a dangerous habit of spending too much money on soy lattes and yoga clothes. Find her on Twitter @HoneyNutLo or email her at Lora@GetLusty.com if you have any questions!

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How Do I Give My Lady Better Butt Love?

Back in anal August, we talked a lot about butt sex. Regardless, anal sex questions remain. And, of course, here at GetLusty, we don't like to leave questions unanswered, so we had to get to the bottom of this issue. It's time. Down with bad butt sex. Maybe we're just feeling like super activists on the way to our SlutWalk Chicago Flash Dance Mob event this Saturday.

Either way, you might also have questions about giving your lovely lady partner butt love. Dr. Jenn is here to help. This is a guest post from Dr. Jennifer Gunsaullus, PH.D. Dr. Jenn is a sexuality and mindfulness speaker, as well as relationship and intimacy counselor.

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Dear Dr. Jenn & GetLusty,

I think it’s hot to put a finger in a girl’s butt when we are having sex "doggy style." But it doesn’t always work and sometimes my girlfriend says it hurts. What can I do about this? How can I please my girlfriend better?

Thanks,
Wannabe Anal Master

Dear Anal Master,

Anal play has become more and more popular, so thanks for your great question. First, make sure your partner is interested in experimenting with anal play. If she’s not into it, she’s going to have a hell of a time relaxing, and will likely experience pain. I don’t advise trying to ‘sneak it in’ without explicitly asking permission.

If you’re both on the same page about this, then you’re embarking into a realm of heightened pleasure. A short anatomy lesson can be helpful here.

To enter the anus, you have to pass through two sets of anal sphincter muscles. The first set are voluntary muscles, which is why relaxation on the woman’s part is important.

She can put her attention on that external muscle area, and choose to relax those muscles. However, the second ring of muscles is a different story. These internal muscles are involuntary, which means you can’t think your way into releasing them. However, they do respond to gentle, direct pressure.

From your side, Anal Master, knowing how to navigate these muscle rings is important. Playing around the outside of the anus with a well-lubed finger can help the woman concentrate on that area and relax the first sphincter muscles.

Then, gently pressing on the anus for several seconds will release the second set of muscles and allow access inside. For some women who are tense and nervous about this, it may take more time.

Remember to start small, slow, and with a lot of lubricant (particularly a thicker lube made specifically for anal play). With a little preparation, patience, and knowledge, you can definitely become the Anal Master.

Be well,
Dr. Jenn

This Q & A was originally posted over at her blog, Dr. Jenn's Den.

Jennifer Gunsaullus, PhD, is a sociologist, sexuality speaker, and sex therapist, with a passion for challenging people to sexually think outside the box. 

Dr. Jenn is a public speaker on topics including healthy relationships, love, gender, mindfulness, erotic play, and happiness. She counsels individuals and couples, in person and over Skype, to assist in creating and maintaining open communication and fulfilling intimacy. Dr. Jenn is a contributing writer for Pacific San Diego Magazine and is a sex and relationship expert on Fox 5 news and San Diego Living. Follow her on Twitter @DrJennsDen and Facebook.

You have read this article advice / Anal / anal sex / Dr. Jenn / Education / lube / question / sex therapist with the title Anal. You can bookmark this page URL https://lamentoeternal.blogspot.com/2012/09/how-do-i-give-my-lady-better-butt-love.html. Thanks!

Build Your Own 50 Shades of Grey Play Kit!

If you have read the recent literary phenomenon 50 Shades of Grey, then you must be familiar with the sexy toys it mentions. However, if you are more of a novice then that's ok too! Here are 11 sexy, fun, entertaining and pleasurable toys and items that will make your next romp in the bedroom just that much better.

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Riding Crop - The riding crop got special attention in the book after Anna admitted to Christian that it was something she had fantasized about. It's good for taunting, teasing, spanking for pleasure and punishing.

Bondage Tape - Bondage tape is amazing! We speak from personal experience. It sticks to itself and wont tear out your arm hair or hair from wherever else you're using it. It also comes in tons of fun colors!

Stimulants - These will make your juicy bits more sensitive to touch and the overall sensation is amazing. So when you play you will be able feel and revel in every delicious moment of it.

Candles - If your feeling a little bold we would suggest candles and candle wax. The sensation of hot candle wax on the body is very titillating and sensual. WARNING! If you are not experienced with candle wax play I would suggest using candles made from paraffin wax, soy way, or bayberry (myrtle wax). All of these waxes burn at a low temperature so it's safer for the skin and you won't risk injury. Stick with pure waxes with no colors or perfumes because, that has an effect on the temperature at which your candle will burn.

Nipple clamps - Yes, nipple clams. They aren't at scary and painful as they seem. You can buy adjustable clamps to control the amount of pressure you want. It adds sensitivity and certainly adds more pleasure.

Cock ring - Not only for your man but for you as well. A cock ring will add longevity to your man's erection and will help him last longer.  

Vibrator - Vibrators are not just solo play any more! You can introduce a vibrator for your pleasure and for your man's pleasure. The vibrating sensation will feel great on your man's balls and on the under side of the head of his cock. Take turns pleasuring each other!

Butt Plug - Also good for you and your man. Try wearing this while you're partaking in intercourse and feel extra pleasure. Your lover can also wear one while he receives head. This will intensify his orgasm.

Blind Fold - When you have a sense a taken away your others become heightened to compensate. This means your skin becomes more sensitive, and your hearing and sense of smell also become heightened. Try sensory play while blind folded.

Rope - Handcuffs are naughty and fun but, ropes are naughty, artful, and versatile. You can create many positions with ropes.

A nice bag or case - Yes, to store everything in of course! You can buy a nice chest or a bag and store everything in a drawer or in your closet. Or, you can buy both and use the bag for any traveling or vacation excitement.

There are many great toys you can use to up your game in the bedroom. Look at our suggestions, do some research and make your own 50 Shades kit. 

If you're feeling bold feel free to share your experiences with us! We would love to hear how GetLusty helps you! With love from, GetLusty.

This is a guest post by our very own Crimson Love. Crimson is our resident BDSM fetish expert. If you don't see Crimson out dining with her adoring boyfriend, you'll find her reading books on innovation or finance. Crimson is currently finishing off her Bachelor's, she is passionate about food, photography, music and especially sex--and she's not afraid to talk about it. With everyone!

Have story ideas? Get in touch with Crimson Love at amber@getlusty.com. 

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Q: How Do I Receive Anal Successfully?

As anal August came to a close, we're sure you're not done with anal. It requires much preparation and knowledge. That's why GetLusty will continue to offer numerous anal tips and tricks.

Would you like to receive anal but it's just not happening? This question was asked to Dr. Dick, one of our favorite sex educators from Seattle.

Since the weekends are a great time to answer your question, we're posting up both question and answer for your pleasure! Thanks to AskMen for the pic.

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Question

Dear Dr. Dick,

Help!  I want to be a bottom; at least I think I do. My boyfriend’s been begging for my booty big time, but I’m just too tight down there and he’s really big. Our play time always ends the same way, frustration for him and a pain in the ass for me.

How do those porno guys do it?

Signed,
Wondering

Answer

Dear Wondering,

First off, darling, “porno guys,” as you so lovingly refer to them, are professionals. Dr. Dick suggests that a novice butt pirate, like you, not try all that fancy stuff at home before you know the basics.

So ya finally decided to become a B.O.B. (big old bottom)? Tired of missing out on all that ass-play everyone’s talkin’ about? Been secretly trippin’ on the exploits of your favorite porn stars? (“Jeez, would ya get a load of that. His hole looks like the Victory Arch in Paris, for god sake.”) And now you want a piece of the action for yourself? 

But wait, there’s a wrinkle, you’re a virgin or worse yet, there’s been an “Exit Only” sign on your poop chute for so long that the mere thought of someone diddlin’ your bunghole makes you blanch and swoon.

Listen up, bottom wannabes; pleasurable buggering is dependent upon on three very simple, but oh so important things: 1) The will, 2) Being relaxed and 3) A considerate partner. I go on.

#1 You gotta really want to get fucked

This may sound elementary, but it’s not. Some of my clients secretly confess that they don’t anyone near their precious tushie, and no amount of pleading and whimpering on the part of their long-suffering partner(s) is gonna change that. 

For some getting it up the ass is associated with domination not pleasure. Manly men don’t bottom for nobody. Oh sure Mary, me thinks you doth protest too much. Others have religious reservations. If god wanted me to get fucked he would have given me a vagina. Still others have aesthetic concerns.  Oh no, that’s way too icky and messy. I can assure you that these boys and girls ain’t never gonna be a ass-fuckin’ bottom no how.

#2 Chill out

Let’s just say your dyin’ to get loving, but you’re so intimidated by your top’s one-eyed monster (or the size of her strap-on) that your quivering asshole is like totally shut down.

Chill out! Why not begin your sex play with your partner giving you a relaxing sensual back rub.  After awhile he/she could move on to a little butt play (and I do me play). Pic from Leylai's blog.

The object here is pleasure not penetration. Have him/her tease your asshole with his/her finger. A tongue works nicely too. This is called rimming, but you probably already knew that, because you’re not a complete idiot, huh?

A gentle circular motion works best. Have him use his hands to spread your ass cheeks. This stretching motion will increase your pleasure as well as give him easier access to your rosebud. After a while, a lubricated finger can be inserted for a bit of a prostate massage, which is ohhh sooo delicious.

Tip: Lots of women report getting some mighty fine G-spot stimulation through ass play. No surprise there, since researchers believe that the female G-spot is made of analogous tissue to the male P-spot or prostate.

When you’re ready to kick it up a notch, have your partner try inserting two fingers or a small dildo.  Rhythmic deep breathing will help keep you relaxed. And when you’re all loosened up and ready to become like one of them “porno guys,” you can have him plug in the real thing. No more meat substitutes for you, huh?

Experiment with different positions. Try sittin’ down on that big old thang, or have your top do you doggie style. Getting laid while on your side with your partner comin’ at ya from behind gives you a bit more control over the depth of his/her thrusting. And of course, there’s also the traditional missionary position; you on your back, legs spread eagle and your pumps pointing to the stars.

If your top is smart he/she will make good use of his/her hands during the ass-ult. A talented top will make sure that your cock or clit is well attended to, which will assist in loosening you up as well as adding to your total enjoyment.

#3 Make sure your partner is considerate

Having a big dick (or a immense strap-on) doesn't automatically make a your partner a good top.

A considerate partner, big dong or not, will happily join you in exploring your asshole.

He/she will concentrate on pleasing you first, because he/she knows that an investment in your anal pleasure today will reap a harvest of mutual pleasure tomorrow. Thanks to Wikipedia for the pic.

#4 Be clean 

Finally, there’s the little issue of anal hygiene, don’t cha know. When it comes to fucking, a clean ass is a happy ass. Remember when you bottom, your anal hygiene is your responsibility. I advise you to stay away from over-the-counter douches, unless they’re the organic kind. The other ones can contain harsh chemical laxatives, and you sure as hell don’t want that!  However, you may find the little bottle they come in very handy. 

Here’s what I suggest, dump the over-the-counter bottle’s contents and refill it with warm salt water. A mixture of warm water with a dash of vinegar or lemon juice works just as well. This simple solution is both a healthier and cheaper way to keep things spic ‘n span in your nether regions.

The more you know about anal health and hygiene, before you give up your ass for the first time, the more likely both you and your top will enjoy yourselves.

Good luck!

Dr. Dick is the founder and current director of Daddy Oohhh! Productions; quality adult entertainment, enrichment and education. His therapeutic training includes The Institute for Advanced Study in Human Sexuality San Francisco, The University of California, San Francisco Human Sexuality Unit, and The Pacific Center for Human Growth, Berkeley. He is a Board certified by The American College of Sexologists, The American Board of Sexology and The American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists. Besides my sexological training I carry a Masters degree in Theology from the Jesuit School of Theology, Berkeley. Learn more on his website.

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Prostate Milking 101 for Couples

Just because Anal August grinds to a close, here at Get Lusty we're hoping you're just getting started with your anal adventures.

* * *

Well, rev up your engines, lovers, here comes an ultimate move that'll send your male partner through the roof. Prostate milking, or massage, is basically a combo breaker. Sure, fellatio, tea-bagging, licking, fondling all feel pretty amazing to the main attractions. However, the prostate, tucked behind the penis, nestled up to the anus wall, is quite in charge of every male's sexual response.

Biology Quickie

Although essential for ejaculation, the prostate is often not held aloft as the important sexual organ it is. Often this gem is only probed in the cold sterility of a doctor's latexed fingers. Nay I say! In fact, some men can reach orgasm through prostate massage alone!

When the penis engorges during arousal, the prostate is more easily massaged through the perineum or, even better, through the anterior anal wall. Usually more the more stimulation to the prostate, the more seminal fluid (a.k.a. pre-cum) is released, upping the sexual ante. Hence the “milking” aspect.

Now, if that doesn't convince your guy, surely these next few moves will.

Slow it down

Try slowly making your way to the anus via the usual suspects. Have him lay on his back, legs gently spread. Begin with some teasing fellatio to prime the pump, then work with your hands slowly from fondling his balls to wandering about his perenium (a map is included in that analingus article) that lovely space between his scrotum and anus. About midway back, you should feel a small knob of muscles. Bingo! Keep the pressure slow and steady at first. Though the pressure alone can be pleasurable, pairing massage with fellatio or a handy can be an awesome mix.

Lube it up

If you and your partner are a-ok, move on town to anal town. If you have a favorite or most trusted brand of lube, get 'em ready. Since the anus is not truly a self-lubricating orifice, you gotta be gentle and glide-friendly.

What I've used and works is a warming lubricant. The anus is rife with sensitive tissue which can work for and against you. Warming lube is definitely a pro, especially in working up to digital insertion. Rubbing the lube from his testes, across his taint, and around the outside of his anus could work as excellent foreplay. The lube then acts as lubrication as well as massage perk.

Cover your bases

Here is where an extra condom, dental dam, or even a latex glove (if your partner's not too scared by past medical visits) will come in mighty handy.

While your lube (if used generously and properly used) should aid in your gliding needs, this extra coverage will not only protect your finger(s) or toys from your partner's bacteria, as well as keep his anal tissue safe from possible scratches, tears, or outside bacteria from your hands. Even a simple trimming of fingernails can help immensely in this department. Though your man may like it rough, you can't be careful enough about anal fissures and tears.

Insert coins to begin

Now the event especial. Covered by your latex of choice (I prefer a lubricated, ribbed Trojan), gently insert either your index or middle finger into his anus. Though you can do palm down, palm up comes highly recommended, as your finger, when curled, can directly rub the prostate. This little lump of pleasure is located about an inch into the rectum. Once located, begin a a slow rhythm. He'll definite respond, especially if combined with fellatio. Speed up to his standards or slow down for a tease, or better BOTH, because orgasm will definitely be one of the best he's ever had.

Major plus worth trying: two fingers, to alternate the rhythm and add double the stimulation.

Challenge round

Once you're both on par with manual prostate milking, a lovely way to spice up the massage is to gently insert a small vibrator (yes, ladies, males get their own vibrators, too!) or even dildo during regular intercourse to add that extra pressure to his prostate. I'm extremely sure, if done right, this will become a regular staple (or a teasing treat) of your boudoir bounty!

This is a guest post by GetLusty writer, Ellen Dukes. Though Ellen Dukes is not an ethical slut (a damn respectable title, she'll have you know), her curiosity, openness, and the indefatigable search engine Google is have lead her to a 21st century sex education.

A Chicagoan, you may see Ellen enjoying the delights of her deeply loving relationship with her boyfriend. Have a naughty story? She's heard naughtier, but tell her all the same at ellen@getlusty.com. She's a wannabe sexpert with years of porn viewing, listening to sex stories, and textbook browsing just waiting to put this knowledge to wonderful use.

Comments? Our comments feature is being fixed, oh my! We hope to enable comments within the week. In the interim, do comment on Twitter @getlusty, Facebook & Tumblr!

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