Do Kegels This #ToyWithMeTuesday!

We've talked about domination, restraints, contracts, and many other sexy forms of control. What about the subtleties of simple muscle control? Think of how many muscles go into a good love session. Usually we think of our legs, backs, and mostly our pelvises doing a majority of the work. GetLusty's Ellen Dukes is here to give a shout out to the often underrated, if not forgotten, Kegel muscles.

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Allow me a quick anatomy lesson, readers. Pelvic floor muscles, or Kegels as named for the gynecologist Arnold Kegel, extend from the front pubic bone all the way back towards the anus. The muscles help with everything from urination to childbirth, even orgasm.

Both male and female genitalia can benefit from Kegel exercise. For men, stronger Kegel's mean lasting longing, or at help staunch premature ejaculation, as well as stronger orgasms. Women also receive a whole lovely list of pluses from regular pelvic exercise, but what I'm mostly focusing on are the sexy benefits.

Firstly, the basic muscle move: the squeeze. 

You may not fully be aware of the muscle, but when you contract it, you'll know. Focus on your pelvis and pretend you're about to pee. Then stop the imaginary stream. Feel that smaller contraction? For guys it should be at the base of your scrotum, before your anus. Ladies, you'll feel it right around your vagina. It may sound bewilderingly obvious, but simply being aware of this powerful band of muscles can make a huge difference in your sex life. Ok, now that you've contracted, release. And that's the exercise. Seriously. It's small, but just ten minutes a day and you're on your way.

Try a few of these as well:

• Slowly contract in, almost in stages: loosely, tighter, even tighter, tightest. Then release in reverse. Think of it like ab crunches, just farther south and slower.
• Focus on the movement and control of the muscles.
• Squeeze for as long as you can, then slowly release. Try holding for 15 seconds, then 30, then even a full minute.
• Pulse squeeze for a minute, then rest a minute. Try going faster, then alternate slower.

The best part of these exercises? Do them anywhere! Try them at your desk, in the shower, or on the phone. Not like anyone can truly tell, so there's no excuse for the shy ones. It's a simple, easy, and fairly painless way to stronger Kegels, thus stronger orgasms.

Unfortunately for our lovely male readers, this next section is focused solely on vaginal tools.

The vagina is an extremely important muscle, not simply an orifice. What you awesome guys can do is encourage your lady partner to try out some of these tools at home. Seriously, it will play to both your favors in the end. And we're off!

Silicone would be best for beginners. The material is wonderfully hygienic, softer, and warms easily to your body's temperature. Glass sounds terrifyingly breakable, especially for such a tender area, but well made balls are perfectly safe. You may've read about some stainless steel balls used in Fifty Shades of Grey. Steel is also another perfectly fine material, you may want to warm them in your hands before insertion though.

Now you may be pondering the plural form of balls, wondering if there must always be more than one. Nay, reader, nay!

Though these toys usually come in pairs, do not feel it necessary to use both at the same time. Try one for a while, then work up to two. Pinkcherry actually sells singular Smartballs with a helpful strap for removal which look very promising for beginners. Our friend Tizzy Wall even did a YouTube video tutorial on these little lovelies.

Also, similar to the balls are crystal eggs. Though they look more like table top decorations, these eggs function the same as balls. The egg shape allows for a different, but equally pleasurable experience, as well as a new shape to work your Kegels around.

They're typically heavier than balls, which can make for a bit more of a challenge, so I'd recommend these as a transitional toy. Again, do not feel pressured to place both eggs in at once if you're not ready. These exercises are about knowing your strength and focusing on the sensual control you have over your own body. What's the point if you feel uncomfortable or downright pained?

Lastly, there are the kegel weights or bars. Think along the lines of dildoes meets Ben Wa. Again, usually silicone or glass, these exercisers focus on the same muscles as balls or eggs, simply with a different shape and approach. The phallus shape allows for more of the vaginal wall to grip while you can actually pull the bar farther inside of you, or push it out. Kind of like vaginal pull ups, but with an arousing aspect. Pinkcherry has several models to choose from, differing in shape, length, and girth. I would recommend beginning with a very simple form, like Berman Intimate's Kona. We recommend only water-based lubes with this product, due to its texture.

Now that I've armed you with more vaginal knowledge, go forth! And remember your daily Kegels!

This is a guest post by GetLusty writer, Ellen Dukes. Though Ellen Dukes is not an ethical slut (a damn respectable title, she'll have you know), her curiosity, openness, and the indefatigable search engine Google have lead her to a 21st century sex education.

A Chicagoan, you may see Ellen enjoying the delights of her deeply loving relationship with her boyfriend. Have a naughty story? She's heard naughtier, but tell her all the same at editorial@getlusty.com. She's a wannabe sexpert with years of porn viewing, listening to sex stories, and textbook browsing just waiting to put this knowledge to wonderful use.

You have read this article better sex / Ellen Dukes / for women / foreplay / toys / vagina with the title Ellen Dukes. You can bookmark this page URL https://lamentoeternal.blogspot.com/2012/12/do-kegels-this-toywithmetuesday.html. Thanks!

4 Lusty Sex Toys for Breast Cancer Awareness

Breast Cancer Awareness month is in full swing. So that's why we were excited to hear PinkCherry is offering their toys at a discount, and also donating $1 per item to the Breast Cancer Society. While it's #SexToyTuesday (and #ToyWithMeTuesday) we thought — let's feature toys to benefit the Breast Cancer Society!

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In GetLusty-land, it's Orgasm October! And what else is awesome in October? Breast Cancer Awareness Month! Save the ta-tas and keep 'em sexy! Here at GetLusty, we love to support a grand cause, so we must must must encourage you lovely readers to head on over to Pinkcherry for their Breast Cancer Awareness sale! Everything pink from cock rings to breast clips to vibrators, up to 75% off. Even better?

Evolved Novelties presents its Faith Pink Ribbon Vibe. With a percentage of each toy sale going towards breast cancer research, this portable sleek vibrator is a perfect addition for both beginners and seasoned veterans. Why? Not only is it super hygienic with a smooth surface, it only takes one AA battery to run! Also, water proof and it's discrete size and color make it an easy tag-along with any trip (with or without your lover).

And while you're adding the Faith Vibe to your virtual shopping cart, why not check out a few more pink goodies that will add to your vibrator experience? I highly suggest these three bonus items:

If you haven't tried a cock ring, try it guilt free now. They're also offering Silicone Island Rings for more than 50% off. These are grand for beginners, as they come in three graduated sizes. Especially recommended for the man wanting to up his endurance. A head's up: watch your man-mane down there. As these are rubbery (silicone), chances are an un-manscaped lawn may lose a few hairs if not careful. But don't let that frighten you off. Cock rings not only extend your love session, but rub up against her clit for some extra sexy stimulation. Both teams win!

Whilst supporting Breast Cancer Awareness, why not bring some awareness to your own set of lovely breasts? With these Sequined Tassels, your partner won't be able to look away. Definitely incorporate these into some mad kinky foreplay, with a floor show and all! My tip: send a subtle camera pic to your partner mid-day of your tassled ta-tas to get him riled for more.

A thrilling addition to any vibrator or fleshy male-counterpart, the G-Spot Extension adds that extra inch to really blow your mind, ladies. It's made of flexible jelly, slips easily onto the penis/vibrator head, and sits at the perfect angle to rub you just right. Just remember: water-based lube, your sex toys will thank you. I highly suggest this paired with your brand new Faith Vibe for a rocking good night, either solo or with your partner!

Just remember, readers, this month is a one for cherishing those beautiful boobs. So, if anything, go home to your lady (or, lady readers, look in a mirror) and love on those lovely ta-tas tonight!

This is a guest post by GetLusty writer, Ellen Dukes. Though Ellen Dukes is not an ethical slut (a damn respectable title, she'll have you know), her curiosity, openness, and the indefatigable search engine Google have lead her to a 21st century sex education.

A Chicagoan, you may see Ellen enjoying the delights of her deeply loving relationship with her boyfriend. Have a naughty story? She's heard naughtier, but tell her all the same at ellen@getlusty.com. She's a wannabe sexpert with years of porn viewing, listening to sex stories, and textbook browsing just waiting to put this knowledge to wonderful use.

You have read this article advice / better sex / breast cancer awareness / Ellen Dukes / masturbation / sex toy tuesday / sex toys with the title Ellen Dukes. You can bookmark this page URL https://lamentoeternal.blogspot.com/2012/10/4-lusty-sex-toys-for-breast-cancer.html. Thanks!

A Sexy Pillow? Furniture for Pleasure? Yes, Please!

As we enter week two of Orgasm October, I'd like to turn our attention to furniture. And not just any couch, bed, or chair. This is furniture specifically made to enhance your love life. In most porn, they make it look easy. Just bend over the couch, stretch out over the bed, put your leg here, butt here. Pretty soon, you're in an X-rated game of Twister. And while that could be some awesome foreplay, mid-coitus, when her arms are tired or his legs fall asleep, a little support could be the perfect push into orgasm-land. Ellen Dukes is back with some fun sex furniture suggestions to make your sex life even more fantastic!

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This week's sex toy focus is on the sex cushion. Think of a plushy wedge or ramp you can angle for nearly every position; marrying comfort with sex. Seriously, what could be better?

I would suggest Pinkcherry's Fetish Fantasy Inflatable Position Master. Not only is it light and portable (hence inflatable), the Position Master has a gently sloping angle perfect for elevating hips to that perfect position, plus handles on the side for grasping during those intense moments. And the price is right, so for first timers just testing the waters, trying this toy won't break your bank.

The ramp shape tends to be the more popular shape for sex furniture. If you haven't already experimented with adding pillows beneath his or her hips for a new experience, the ramp is absolutely perfect for easing into these new positions. While pillows work in a pinch, wedges likes the Position Master, give far more support to make each thrust count.

Think about those staple positions you use most. Missionary, while tried and true, becomes a bull's eye for a lady's g-spot. Her elevated hips angle his penis right towards the upper wall of the vagina. Once you try that golden move out, try placing the wedge on the edge of the bed, with him standing. For those with beds not quite high enough, now you have some wiggle room!

Or, how about the delightful doggie style? With her bent over, sometimes arms, legs and even your back can get tired. Or, for those partner's with shorts legs, the angle just doesn't work well. With the wedge supporting her, she gets lifted those couple extra inches! The cushion will make the move from behind a nightly go-to.

What about the cowgirls out there? Place the wedge under his upper back to bring both partners closer while she rides. Or, place the highest part under his hips for a wild romp. Seriously, the combinations are endless, especially including other favorite toys like, restraints or vibrators.

In fact, for those seasoned in the ways of sex furniture or those looking for more, here's a treat for you. Pinkcherry's Inflatable Love Lounger. All the ease of the inflatable wedge, plus many more sexy benefits. Perhaps a well timed anniversary gift for that adventurous couple? Even a kinky Christmas gift for your significant other?

Just remember, it's all about that slight change that can make an enormous difference in your sex life. Be open, be safe, be sexy and give yourself some wild orgasms this month. You deserve it!

This is a guest post by GetLusty writer, Ellen Dukes. Though Ellen Dukes is not an ethical slut (a damn respectable title, she'll have you know), her curiosity, openness, and the indefatigable search engine Google have lead her to a 21st century sex education.

A Chicagoan, you may see Ellen enjoying the delights of her deeply loving relationship with her boyfriend. Have a naughty story? She's heard naughtier, but tell her all the same at ellen@getlusty.com. She's a wannabe sexpert with years of porn viewing, listening to sex stories, and textbook browsing just waiting to put this knowledge to wonderful use.

You have read this article advice / better sex / Ellen Dukes / Featured / for couples / sex toy tuesday / sexual adventures / toys with the title Ellen Dukes. You can bookmark this page URL https://lamentoeternal.blogspot.com/2012/10/a-sexy-pillow-furniture-for-pleasure.html. Thanks!

Anal Beads for #SexToyTuesday!

Here at GetLusty, we celebrate #SexToyTuesday with a bang. For anal adventurers, this week's kink: anal beads! We've covered anilingus, prostate milking, and anal fingering. Why not add some more toys into the lovely fray? Step right up for your crash course from GetLusty's Ellen Duke in the art of the anal bead for this week's installment of #SexToyTuesday!

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#1 Choose your material wisely

Most anal beads nowadays come in cleaning friendly materials, like plastic or metal, silicone, and latex. Of course, you can graduate to metal or even lovely glass. But newbies I advise the ease of bendy beads. Readers, a note of caution: do NOT use any toy with porous material connecting the beads, like string, yarn, what have you. Not only could it easily get twisted or break, but it will be damn near impossible for it to be considerably clean no matter how much scrubbing or soaking. Because we are dealing with fecal matter and other potential bacteria, always, always sanitize before AND after, especially if you and your partner intend on sharing a toy. 

With this in mind, go on and explore your anal bead options. GetLusty's beloved sex toy associate, Pinkcherry, sell anal beads that are designed to be very user friendly. I would suggest starting with sets that graduate in size (the beads start small and get larger farther up the strand). Sounds like an obvious start, but this is one of the coolest aspects of anal beads. They are beginner, intermediate, and advanced all in one. With dildos, plugs, or any other insertion toys, to graduate to a larger size means to actually buy one with more girth.

Your perfect set of anal beads should help you work up to your most comfortable size while enjoying the previous sizes as you work your way up the strand. I recommend California Exotic's X-10 Anal Beads. These beads start small, but still have plenty of larger beads to work up to, allowing longer and most intense use out of one strand.  

#2 Remember the lubricant

Ok, so you have your first anal beads, now what? Well, put them up your pretty bum of course! But first things first, as with any anal practice: a healthy dose of lube. Keeping your favorite lube within hand's reach would be ideal, just to make sure you can add more if you need. You can also slip the beads inside a condom for some extra slide factor and it couldn't hurt with the cleanliness either. Maybe not for first timers, but a warming lube could be especially nice with beads. Take a slow and steady approach to insertion, not only to keep you comfortable, but to increase the sensation.

#3 Be aware

Now that you've primed your beads for insertion, take role. Count the number of beads present. Though you don't necessarily have to form a relationship with each and every bead, knowing when one's missing after you pull out the crew can make quite a difference. And fear not, anal bead beginners, beads rarely, get “lost” in your butt. The very worst case scenario would be a doctor's removal of the bead. Most likely if lost: A.) you/your partner were being a bit rough with your beads B.) a healthy bowel movement will reveal the missing piece. Again, don't let this scare you off of anal bead play. This is a very safe and enjoyable practice, just be aware and fairly in tune with your toys. 

After that public safety announcement, let's get down to the dirty. Specifically, how to make your anal bead experience an awesome one.

Here are 3 things I consider crucial to a grand anal experience.

#1  Slow it down

When it comes to insertion remember Aesop's Tortoise and the Hare fable. Like I said earlier, taking your time creates a delicious appreciation for each bead's movement. The beads, though technically on a strand, are made of a stiffer material, so you won't have to nudge each bead with your finger into place. Just simply push with the base of the string slowly into the anus.

The great thing about beads is that mounting tension between each. So you have the first hump and your anal muscles relax, then here comes the second, slightly larger bead to fit through. Pretty soon, once your body is comfortable with the fuller feeling of however many beads you want, your bum will be wondering what comes next.

#2 Wiggle room

Since anal beads are in no way, shape, or form gender specific, anyone with a willing butt can be on the receiving end. So, with that in mind, consider each anal anatomy. With the guy, you have the most impressionable prostate, most likely engorged and ready for some affection from the promise of sexy times. Since it's only about an inch inside the interior anal wall, most size beads will, with some minor exploration, find a way to rub up against that special spot.


Though chicks don't have a prostate to manipulate, focus more on clitoral stimulation whilst inserting. Though anal beads can work quite well solo, I highly recommend pairing the toy with penile/vaginal/clitoral stimulation. The two fullness of the anal beads with oral sex is a winning duo. And even better? Make sure the beads are securely (and comfortably) inside, and go for a home run. The beads rubbing inside during intercourse will make this next and final element all the better.

#3 (Not so) Freudian slip 

This final bit of advice (and for many bead regulars, the absolute best part) could sound a bit tricky, but truly, readers, it's all about the timing. If you're any bit in tune to your lover's big O moment, then you're 95% there. The rest? Just a simple tug at the apex of orgasm, and your partner will know exactly why you put those beads in.

The pressure of each bead quickly exiting your anus mixed with the rolling pleasure spasms of climax are some of the most intense feelings one can feel during sex. So much is happening down south that the body pumps full of those lovely hormones (especially the wonderful oxytocin, the so-called 'cuddle hormone' that creates the feeling of total trust and ease). This is where an oral sex approach could work best, as the partner doing the pulling would have easiest access to the beads during the crucial moment.

Sex positions that work best 

There are several positions that allow for some bead play during intercourse. If your guy's beaded, try reverse cowgirl. Facing his legs will make an easier time of reaching his bum, plus the gal can control the rhythm and gauge when he's gonna blow. If the lady's packing, doggie style sounds obvious, but consider missionary with her legs over his shoulders. The balance of her legs pressing against his chest could make it easier to get a hand down low to access the beads. 

Now that I have imparted my wisdom on the power of anal beads, go forth, lovers, and try, try, try. Sex was meant to be exploratory, so get down, get dirty, and get ready for some anal fun.

Though Ellen Dukes is not an ethical slut (a damn respectable title, she'll have you know), her curiosity, openness, and the indefatigable search engine Google has lead her to a 21st century sex education. A Chicagoan, you may see Ellen enjoying the delights of her deeply loving relationship with her boyfriend. She's a wannabe sexpert with years of porn viewing, listening to sex stories, and textbook browsing just waiting to put this knowledge to wonderful use.
Have a naughty story? She's heard naughtier, but tell her all the same at ellen@getlusty.com.

You have read this article Ellen Dukes with the title Ellen Dukes. You can bookmark this page URL https://lamentoeternal.blogspot.com/2012/09/anal-beads-for-sextoytuesday.html. Thanks!

Gags & Clips 101 for #SexToyTuesday

It's #SexToyTuesday. Need some ideas to rev up your love life? Ellen is here to the sexual rescue with some toys that you can add into your bedroom for the ultimate pleasure thrill!

Last week it was smacks and whips, this week is gags and clips! That's right, we dare you to go into that exquisite realm of bondage, pain, and most of all pleasure.

Going along with our Fifty Shades of Grey September, this sex toy round up is all about sensuous torture. Restraints, nipple clamps, ball gags, oh my! And all brought to you by the sinfully sexy Pinkcherry!

This is another great article by our own Ellen Dukes.

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Nipple clamps

First up are the infamous nipple clips or clamps. As you may remember from this month's inspiration, Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy, nipple clamps are a favorite in bondage play. Whether it's sucking, pinching, prodding, or pulling the nipples, clamps are meant to flirt with the painful side of pleasure. Don't let the discomfort angle scare you off readers. Nipple clips can be perfectly harmless, especially for beginners, when used correctly.

Also, remember, both sexes have nipples, so this needn't be for the women only. When picking out a nipple product, you can test the strength on your finger or even better, the flesh of your arm, which is fairly sensitive. A good rule of thumb is that if it hurts your finger, your nipple is not going to be happy. Definitely work up to the stronger clamps if that's your goal- it can be done.

For beginners, I would suggest a sucking type of clamp like Pinkcherry's Mini Nipple Suckers as foreplay to stimulate them to full attention. It's easy to use (simply squeeze and let go on the nipple). If you are up for something more, try either My First Nipple Clamps or Nipplettes Vibrating Nipple Clamps.

Both vibrate wirelessly (which can help intensify the pressure in a good way), are waterproof, and, best of all, fully adjustable for whichever kind of level you are at. Pairing some trusty nipple clamps with restraints (and heck, throw in a blindfold!) will work superbly as torture play. Tease, tease, and tease your partner some more with the exquisite pressure of nipple clamps. They will definitely bring out your naughtier side.

Blind folds

Next, is the realm of sensory deprivation.
It may sound like a small and simple item,
but a blindfold can make a word of difference.
Covering your or your lover's eyes creates
a vunerability that can be quite thrilling.

You don't know what caress or lick will go where or when, creating a sensual tension. Plus, with a good quality blind fold dampening your sight, other sensations will take charge with a vengeance.

Try covering your lovers eyes while whispering something very naughty into his/her ear. Or, even better, both strip to the buff, make sure the blind is secure, and surprise them by ravishing different parts of their body, or rubbing parts of yours all over them. Especially paired with your favorite restraint (which I'll definitely hit later) blindfolds can be a surprisingly new way to spice up your usual love making.

Most any cloth material will work as a makeshift blindfold, but I would suggest Pinkcherry's Plushy Gear Lover's Eye Mask. It's soft, dark, and molds to your face making each wear comfy with all the sexy benefits of sensory deprivation.

Restraints

Restraints can also heighten that sexual tension. Whether they be the cool metal of handcuffs (please, do make sure you have the key!), the flexibility of rope, or the simplicity of sheets tied to the bedpost, restraining a lover is a whole new world of love making.

But first things first, some safety tips.

Have an exit: Make sure you both are comfortable with untying the knot or unlocking the cuff. I doubt sexy times can happen without an exit. Of course, intercourse can definitely take place whilst restrained, but when one partner is not quite as into it, or the fun times are over, release has a whole other meaning.

Too tight or just right?: This is a biggie: watch how tightly you knot the material or cuff. Cutting off circulation can get pretty unsexy in a hurry. So if you or your partner feel any numbness, pain, or strain in the tied limb, speak up so the restraint can be released. Having a mutual safety word as well as trying a few practice knots on yourself can get you up to par and ready for a real session.

Once you're a-ok with ropes, cuffs, or whatever you're using, get ready to tease your partner until they beg for more! For beginners, I would suggest using either Pinkcherry's Fetish Fantasy Bed Bindings or the Beginner's Bondage Fantasy Kit. Both have very user friendly restraints (the bed bindings doesn't even need a post or headboard!) to ease you into your bondage fantasies.

Are you or your partner successfully restrained? Now, tease your way up and down their body, varying the pressure and consistency of your touches or (even better) licks. Incorporate food (just watch out for sugary substances in the vagina, yeast infections are not fun) or other toys. Even your most steadfast vibrator can turn into a whole new experience once you're in control. I highly advise using a blindfold and using ice on the most sensitive area. Go between the shocking cold of the ice and the intimate warmth of your mouth for a real treat.

Gags


Though there is very real potential for drool with this torture device, I say go for it! Another deprivation is speech. When you can't tell your lover what you want, you must rely on moans, groans, and body language. The gag can be a major prop in role playing.

Try some rougher play, with restraints and even a blindfold. The gag is meant to be power play, so maybe a game of sex slave for the afternoon with your lover on hands and knees with the ball gag and nothing else. Or the classic break-in situation, with a burglar restraining and gagging the unsuspecting victim before ravaging their body. It's completely up to you.

As for products, try the Beginner Ball Gag to see if you like the feel. This gag is tapered towards the back to keep the jaw from opening too wide, making for a more comfortable experience. Those looking for more should consider stepping up to the Spider Gag. Just make sure you keep proper hygiene in safely washing these toys, since they are going in your mouth. Many are silicone, rubber, latex, or metal, so easily washable, or even bleachable.

With your gag, simply insert into your/your partner's mouth, adjust the strap, and there you go. Some more complicated gags have different parts, metal bits, or can be adjusted in multiple fashions. Also, since a safety word will be harder understand, be sensitive to each others body language, as it will indicate what they're feeling. Overall, make sure you're comfortable with the gag and then unleash your wilder fantasies.


This is a guest post by GetLusty writer, Ellen Dukes. Though Ellen Dukes is not an ethical slut (a damn respectable title, she'll have you know), her curiosity, openness, and the indefatigable search engine Google have lead her to a 21st century sex education.

A Chicagoan, you may see Ellen enjoying the delights of her deeply loving relationship with her boyfriend. Have a naughty story? She's heard naughtier, but tell her all the same at ellen@getlusty.com. She's a wannabe sexpert with years of porn viewing, listening to sex stories, and textbook browsing just waiting to put this knowledge to wonderful use.

You have read this article BDSM / Ellen Dukes / fetish / fifty shades / Kink / sexual adventures / toys with the title Ellen Dukes. You can bookmark this page URL https://lamentoeternal.blogspot.com/2012/09/gags-clips-101-for-sextoytuesday.html. Thanks!

Whipping & Flogging 101 for Couples

Everyone starts off as a newbie at sometime. So we thought -- how about trying whipping or flogging as part of Fifty Shades September? It's a great excuse to try out new things. You may have considered this out of the question before 50 Shades. Well, at GetLusty, we're all about finding excuses to try new things out and keep your sex and love lives spicy!

Just because you're in a long-term relationship or marriage, shouldn't mean it's gotta be boring! So before you start, we recommend the negotiation 101 and 6 tips for getting started in BDSM. After you've read those two, check out this is a guest post by our own Ellen Dukes.

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Corporal punishment may not immediately come to mind as sexy. In fact, many couples do not associate pain with pleasure at all. A moment please, lovers, to sway your minds about the sensuality of punishment.

Whipping and flogging (also used as a tool of corporal punishment) doesn't have to be excruciating. It can be a different flavor of pleasure altogether! Bondage can get pretty heavy with a willing couple, to the point of rope, gags, latex, and a sexy myriad of playthings.

However, the focus of this article is to ease beginners into the softer end of the punishment spectrum.

We're talking light whipping, spanking, and for the adventurous, flogging. As we've seen throughout anal August on GetLusty, the ass is a very erogenous zone, inside and out. The fatty tissue allows for quite a bit of stimulation, it was made to take a so-called beating. A smart smack on the bottom can get the blood flowing, quite literally.


Stick to the ass

For beginners, focus on the ass. Like I said, it's fleshier and can take some attention. You don't want to accidentally wander over to a more sensitive area. A painful blow to the lower back could quickly stop sexy times. The lower back also holds many vital organs so always avoid it. Usually getting into a comfortable position for the smack helps the smacker not to stray from the golden area. Then, you can get into a rhythm both will enjoy.

Spanking

This is the simplest of punishments. All you need is a willing hand and an eager bottom. A few playful pats can signify sexy times, especially when administered at unexpected times. Perhaps if you're feeling a bit randy, swat your lover's bum in the kitchen or playfully whilst brushing teeth before bed. I'm sure they'll get the message. What's best is to work near the bottom of the butt, where it's most fleshy.

For more intense and intentional spanking, I suggest losing the clothes and assuming the position. That's right, bend over and bend over anything.

The bed, the couch, the kitchen counter, even your gal/guy's lap. There's a heightened expectation when you prepare yourself for punishment.

Even having your lover tell you (firmly or in jest, whatever works) to bend over. Just a few commands can create that tension even before the hand falls.

You can, of course, use much more than your hand. Paddles, wooden spoons, and even your simple hairbrush can work in a pinch.

Something firm, fairly light, and usually a similar shape to the hand can render a desirable effect. I would highly suggest varying the speed and/or the force of the spank for a heightened experience. Not knowing what blow will come next can be a great tease.

Whipping

For those who've dabbled in spanking, or are ready for something a bit harder, whipping could be your go to punishment.

Here, you'll need, of course, a whip, or something that can lash. We love PinkCherry for whips (and most everything else). Check out their extensive selection here. We recommend a Lelo Suede Whip like the one on the below. Unless you really put your arm into it, it won't give you any serious pain.

For beginners, I suggest a softer material than the leather one usually associates with whip, we're not trying to be Indiana Jones here. Cotton rope, bristles, and even some brushes from feather dusters or dangling your hair over the area can create pleasurable results.

Cat o'nine tails may look scary, but when used properly, can be a sexy tool for whipping. Just make sure beginners get a cat without stings or snares on the end of each tassel.

Next #SexToyTuesday, we'll offer whipping & flogging recommendations, so stay tuned!

Beginners Note:

Try merely dangling the whip's ends over the bare butt to tease your lover before coming back with a harder blow. Once you've grown accustomed to the feel of these softer materials, then interweave these toys with harder whips like genuine leather, rubber, or canes (see flogging below) to create a complex experience.

Flogging

This form of punishment differs from whipping in its tools (or toys in GetLusty land). While whipping obviously uses various forms of whips, flogging focuses on stiffer stimuli. Think a dominatrix's boudoir: riding crops, canes, and leather floggers. Speaking of the dominatrix, the Chicago's own Mistress Simone dishes on her recommendations for flogging.

A note to you, couples, canes are not for feint of heart. Whatever material they are made of (bamboo, plastic, nylon) they will bite. They are associated with punishment for a reason. However, the riding crop is fantastic for beginners, as long as they keep the focus of the blows on that end leather flap. Merely holding a riding crop or cane can feel sexy to the lover in charge. That power and command over your lover is very much part of the experience as well as that submissive and seemingly powerless feeling of the punished.

Communication & more communication!

You must, must, must remember, readers, that healthy sex, whether your exploring your lover's anus to whipping their buttocks, to even just going down on them, requires a great deal of communication. Don't forget to read our sexual negotiation 101 article.

A great tool is the safety word, especially for these acts that involve some degree of pain. If the partner's not feeling it, or feeling it way too much, a simple utterance (or yell) of the safety word should put a stop to that discomfort. Explore your bodies, but explore them with common sense, respect, and lots of communication.

Bonus round:

All that you just learned about spanking, whipping, and flogging? Try it on another very sensitive part of the body: the breasts. Except, beginners, keep it much lighter. Think teasing rather than torturing as the nipples and tissue of the breasts are very sensitive. But, that is what makes this sexy.

Pic #1 from NowPublic. Pic #2 from ModelMayhem.

This is a guest post by GetLusty writer, Ellen Dukes. Though Ellen Dukes is not an ethical slut (a damn respectable title, she'll have you know), her curiosity, openness, and the indefatigable search engine Google is have lead her to a 21st century sex education.

A Chicagoan, you may see Ellen enjoying the delights of her deeply loving relationship with her boyfriend. Have a naughty story? She's heard naughtier, but tell her all the same at ellen@getlusty.com. She's a wannabe sexpert with years of porn viewing, listening to sex stories, and textbook browsing just waiting to put this knowledge to wonderful use.

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