Camille Crimson's Top 5 Reasons to Give a Great Blowjob (NSFW)

There's always time to talk about foreplay. We were wondering why foreplay plays such a pivotal role in sex for men (we'll get to cunnilingus soon, ladies). Well, of course we sought answers from the Queen of the Blowjob, Camille Crimson. Camille inspires us to give better head. She knows a thing or two about blowjobs. She's been managing the ArtofBlowjob.com for some time now and has made some pretty hot films of herself doing just that. We also have a serious lady crush on her. Without ado, Camille's top 5 reasons to give a blowjob.

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#1 Giving feels good


When we think about the warm, fuzzy feeling we get from giving to others, we're mostly thinking about volunteering for a soup kitchen or giving money to a good cause, but giving pleasure can feel pretty amazing, too.

 Being a giving lover and seeing all the appreciation and enjoyment from a passionate blowjob is its own reward... And a very arousing award at that!

#2 It's a great way to connect

When you have someone's penis in your mouth, it's fair to say that you've entered into a pretty intimate act. A lot of mainstream influences make you feel like it isn't that big of a deal, and it certainly doesn't have to be, but it's lovely to take a moment and reflect on what's actually going on. You're connected in a unique way. Each articulation of your mouth has a direct effect on his cock. Pay attention to the interplay and you'll feel yourself growing closer and more intuitive to his feelings.

#3 It's a skill

It's a skill you can develop like any other: Everybody needs a hobby... Blowjobs could be yours! I'm not saying it'll replace your reading circle or adult dance class, but the more you give blowjobs, the more you learn about your subject.

Developing little tricks and surprising moves is a thrill. The first time you master an advanced technique or experience a cumshot, you really do feel a sense of accomplishment. Besides, and I can speak from personal experience, adding "blowjob master" to your list of abilities is pretty amazing.

#4 It leads to more exploration

Start with blowjobs and you'll surely end up covering a lot more ground. It's a starting off point, but once you find yourself comfortable with blowjobs, you'll naturally find yourself curious about new ways to make each other feel good.

Whether that's more oral sex, using your hands, using your breasts, using toys, watching porn, making porn, finding exciting places to enjoy these blowjobs... The sky is the limit, and it all started with a little fellatio.

#5 It increases the likelihood of meaningful reciprocation

This isn't to say that blowjobs are all given in the hopes that you'll receive something in return, but sometimes receiving amazing pleasure ups the ante and gets you all fired up to give back.

It also opens up the opportunity to ask what makes him feel good and then talk about what makes you feel good. If you're not as into receiving oral sex, you are by no means required to take it as a thank you gift, but you can negotiate some sexy reciprocity that works for both of you.

Camille Crimson specializes in sexuality, feminism, oral sex, and creating and marketing beautiful porn. Her websites The Art of the Blowjob and Slow Motion Blowjob are full of exquisite photo and video shoots that showcase "the subversive yet natural subject we all love: sex". On top of being a versatile business woman, Camille plays guitar, loves horror movies, and has recently gotten into motorcycles.

Follow Camille on Twitter @CamilleCrimson or Facebook.

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Best of 2012! Blowjob 101: Ten Tips for His Best Orgasm (NSFW)

Dick & Dildo December is over but Jizz January is here! We love oral sex, both giving it and receiving it. It is one of the most intimate experiences a couple can share together. Pleasing our partner is an amazing physical way to become that much closer. We have already featured articles on things you should not to do mid-blowjob, parts one and two. Camille Crimson, for example, talked about her favorite blowjob tips. Follow Camille's wonderful article, But what other things we should be doing while engaging in the blowjob? Since we have had great response to our cunnilingus 101 article, we thought it was about time we wrote a an article on the, blowjob 101. Here are our ten tips for giving an amazing blowjob! GetLusty's Lora Swarts reports.

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I am sure you have heard it before, "Sex is a lot like pizza. When it's bad, it's still pretty good." Men love oral sex and no matter what, when you are going down on him, he is in absolute heaven. Women? We need a little more than some mediocre pizza. So, if you really want to blow past his expectations and give him the best pizza he has ever had, read these ten tips on how to give a great blowjob! Sure oral sex is different for everyone, and that is why consent and communication are the only ways to know what he wants and what makes him feel good! Without further adieu....

Get accustomed with the penis anatomy 

Sure a penis is not as intricate as a vagina. But we think it's important to still educate ourselves on the penis anatomy so you know just what's going on!

Just like women, men don't always groom the hair down there. So don't feel grossed out or deny oral pleasure because your guy has a little pubic hair- hair is natural. What else is natural? Odor. You should never make someone feel bad for any kind of smell that is happening below the belt, because well, that is just rude and doesn't turn anyone on.

Making someone feel confident is the best kind of foreplay. If it is an issue though, mention you want to shower together pre-sex. It is not only a great way to bond and feel intimate, but you will feel clean and more willing to go down on each other. Now that that's over, let us move on to the anatomy. A human penis is the external sexual organ of a male. Now it certainly has more parts internally than externally, but unlike a vagina, we only focus for the most part, on the outer parts. The penis consists of the scrotum, glans (head) of the penis, shaft (corpus cavernosa and corpus spongisum), testes and urethral opening and foreskin. Now that we know what's going on down there, lets move on to the fun part! The actual blowjob! Here are our ten tips for giving great head.

#1 Eye contact 


Once and awhile, gaze up at your guy. There is nothing sexier then looking into each other's eyes as your mouth is wrapped around his penis. Hold his gaze for just a little bit, then return to focusing on the job at hand.

Always use this eye contact moment to see how he is doing. Listen for his moans, or watch his facial expressions. If something doesn't seem to be working for him, communicate.

#2 Use your hands! 

Sure it's a blow job, but your hands always make them better! Make an "o" shape with your hand and wrap it around his shaft. As you bob up and down his penis, your hand will act as though you are taking him all in at once! Plus the mixture of a hand job and blow job gives him different and pleasurable sensations.

#3 Lick him like an ice cream cone

I am sure this is a pretty self-explanatory tip. Keep your tongue flat and lick his penis from the base to the tip slowly like it's melting ice cream. Not only does this just look sexy, but it feels damn good for him too!  

#4  Play with his balls 

Since we just mentioned licking him like an ice cream cone, why not talk about the nuts that usually accompany the ice cream split? Licking his balls and gently sucking on them provide an amazing feeling. Gently stroke and lick by taking one ball in your mouth at a time and using your tongue to play with it. Then move on to the next ball.

#5 Pace yourself

Pacing is important in making a blowjob not only feel great, but it also keeps him on edge, anticipating the finale. Instead of having a constant rhythm bobbing up and down, try this! Bob up and down slowly five times. Then mix it up with three slow, two fast bobs. Mixing up your speed and pace helps with the anticipation- which is key to amazing oral.

#6 Tongue action 


Use your tongue and swirl it in circles around the tip/head of his penis. Then, go in the opposite direction. He will definitely gasp and moan since this area is super sensitive.

#7 Suction

Create a suction action, popping his penis in and out of your mouth. Place the back of your tongue on the roof of your mouth and then with his penis in your mouth, slide your tongue backward. It is like you're vacuuming his dick, in a pleasant way of course. Picture sucking on your thumb as a kid and his penis is your thumb. Some men are very sensitive however, so ask him to suck on your finger first, to show you how he intense he wants the suction to be.

#8 Explore

Depending on your guy, exploration can be really hot. Maybe play with his butt hole with your fingers.   Explore his scrotum territory. The scrotum is located behind the penis, and is the sac (pouch) that contains the testes, blood vessels and part of the spermatic cord. Lick his scrotum as you move your hand up and down his shaft. He will feel an ultimate wow sensation. Once you are ready for his cock again, guide your tongue up the underside of his penis and hear him moan as your suck his head back into your mouth.

#9 Play with yourself too

Sure giving a blowjob is all about well, his penis. But guess what? When you moan, groan and get turned on, he gets harder! So if you have a free hand, go ahead and start playing with yourself too. Don't forget to gaze up at him when you are sucking on his dick and playing with your clit. He will have trouble containing himself seeing you as excited as you are!

#10 Swallow?  

If you don't mind swallowing, do it! Or if swallowing isn't your thing, request that you want him to come all over your stomach, in between your breasts or on your face.

See what he wants and let him release however he wants (but we recommend either talking it out first or sensually talking about it throughout the process). That'll make his orgasm all the more wild!

Blowjobs shouldn't be intimidating and should just be fun. Communicate effectively and use some of these tips to make your blowjobs that much better. He will surely love to reciprocate back to you. And if he does, mention our cunnilingus 101 article for tips.

Lora is our Editorial intern and resident health nut. When she is not writing and editing, you can find her on her yoga mat, exploring Chicago via bicycle, or hanging out with her wonderful boyfriend and Beagle puppy in their north side apartment. She has a habit of spending too much money on soy lattes and yoga clothes. Find her on Twitter @HoneyNutLo. Have any questions? Email her at Lora@GetLusty.com!

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Best of 2012! Camille Crimson's Top 10 Places to Give a Blowjob (NSFW)

Because 2012 is still lingering in our memory, and it's Jizz January, we wanted to give more ideas around blowjobs. Did we mention we love giving and getting head? Camille Crimson inspires us to give better head. She knows a thing or two about blowjobs. She's been managing SlowMotionBlowjob.com and TheArtofBlowjob.com for some time now and has made some pretty hot films of herself doing just that. Camille advocates oral sex and pleasure. She has given us her top tips on how to give a blowjob and how to even how to respectfully receive a blowjob! Now our blowjob guru is here with 10 places to give and receive a blowjob! Want to spice it up a little? Follow Camille's advice because she knows what she's doing!

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As a huge fan of blowjobs, I give them a lot. They're part of my life and who I am and I want more people to feel free to enjoy that part of themselves as well. But where? Well, I sat down and thought of some great spots to try out the oral arts (and then some!) from right at home to far-reaching destinations. Blowjobs (and cunnilingus too!) are good acts for experimenting with sex in different places because if you get interrupted (and let's hope you don't) you can zip up and play dumb pretty easily. So, let's get going!

#1 In bed 

Let's start with the basics. Blowjobs in bed are pretty great. You can take turns laying down, you can prop yourself up with pillows, you can get under the covers if it's cold. It's also the perfect place to get extremely playful and exploratory.

You can lay your head over the side of the bed while your partner enters your mouth from above for great deep throating, you can try different ways to 69 for wonderful (and comfortable) mutual pleasure and you can move the fun anywhere else in the house.

#2 In the kitchen

When you're cooking something up with your partner, things tend to get pretty flirty. Maybe you spill a little something on yourself and need to take off an article of clothing.

Maybe you taste test something off of their finger and it inspires you to suck on something else. You can get down on your knees, roll around on the floor (and you can check to make sure nothing rolled under the fridge while you're down there) or get him sitting up on the counter to get better access. You can use whatever sexy foods you have on hand to lick off each other. Why not use a little oil to stroke him while you suck him for a silky smooth handjob. Just make sure not to burn anything while your attention is less focused on the cooking.

#3 While taking a bath or shower 

Playful splashing! Sensual soaping up! Feeling all fresh and clean, then getting all fresh and clean again after! Just a few of the great reasons why blowjobs in the bath/shower are lots of fun. A few words of caution: Don't slip! No matter how good it feels, don't lose your grip.

 If you're giving a blowjob on your knees under the shower, be sure to angle your eyes away from the stream so you don't end up with runny mascara stinging your eyes. And if you're in the bath and you want to see how long you can hold your breath, just be realistic about it. You're not Aquaman! As long as you play it safe, this is one of the most erotic ways to enjoy a blowjob.

#4 At a public restroom

Home washroom play can be fun, but there is something very sexy about sneaking away together to have a quickie in a secluded spot while at a bar, restaurant, concert etc. This invariably means the public restroom. If you luck into a place with single stall rooms, occupy it if there's more than one and you'll be assured a nice, leisurely blowjob.

 If you're in a multi-stall room, you'll need to be a lot more quiet and try hiding behind him so that you can't overtly see two sets of feet. A lot of people love this kind of thrill, so go for it!  Just be sure to hurry up if anyone knocks and don't feel too embarrassed when you walk out.

#5 Up against a wall in an alley 

For those of us in big cities, we've all seen a couple giggling and holding hands as they sneak into an alley for… most likely a blowjob. Of course, there's the risk of getting caught, but if you can be discrete and ready to leave at a moment's notice, you can take advantage of urban life by infusing it with your sexuality. Squatting instead of kneeling is a good way to avoid sore knees from the sidewalk and leaning up against a wall is the best way to ensure that you're out of the field of vision. This can feel a little dirty, but only if you want it to. It's a playful way to take sex out into the streets-literally.

#6 Under the table 

This is fun whether you're in public or at home, though this would be a pretty high risk thing to try at a restaurant. Mostly, it's a nice way to always be surprising with the blowjob. You can't be seen, so every change of speed or sensation is totally unexpected. This can be really thrilling. And if you happen to catch a glimpse of each other and lock eyes covertly under the table, there's a real jolt by having that moment of connection. Try this at home and, well, proceed with caution if you try it anywhere else. It's better to covertly tease each other under the table to start.

#7 The great outdoors 

I've been lucky enough to give blowjobs in a stream, in a field, on a beach, and in the forest. There's nothing more lovely than feeling the wind in your hair and seeing the beauty of nature all around you while you enjoy this sensual act. It's pretty easy to find secluded spots in the wilderness and it brings out your animalistic side and all the desires that come along with it. So, next time you're on a road trip, camping or on vacation at a lovely beach, lay down and marvel at the stars or the bright blue sky while savoring a beautiful blowjob.

#8 In a car  

This reminds me of getting out of the house to have a moment of privacy. Parking is an antiquated concept in a way, but it still goes on and you can do it even once you have your own private space, just to spice things up. I'm not advocating road head (drive safe!) but I do think that there's a really sexy feeling that comes with leaning over from one seat to give a really erotic blowjob.

 You can be in the passenger's seat or the driver's seat metaphorically and literally. Just park somewhere low-key and unexpected. No one likes hearing that tap on the window.



#9 On camera 

This isn't really a place, but it is in a way. Giving a blowjob on film is pretty incredible, speaking from personal experience. Being filmed is exhilarating, you end up feeling like you're giving the best blowjob of your life because you're paying extra attention to feeling sexy and then you can watch it again to enjoy how hot it is. If you do want to take it to the next level and to another "place" by putting it on the Internet, just be sure to stay as anonymous as you can unless that's not the point. Hide anything identifiable from view. Then wait for the comments to come rolling in, spurring you on to more passionate blowjob exploration.

#10 From the rooftops

Have you ever wanted to declare your love from the rooftops? Well, you can sort of do that with a blowjob. This is for the real adventurer. If you have access to a fire escape, then you can conceivably climb up a short building for a nice view of the night sky and an unforgettable blowjob experience- if you're up to the challenge.

What's your favorite place to enjoy a blowjob?

Camille Crimson specializes in sexuality, feminism, oral sex, and creating and marketing beautiful porn. Her websites The Art of the Blowjob and Slow Motion Blowjob are full of exquisite photo and video shoots that showcase "the subversive yet natural subject we all love: sex". On top of being a versatile business woman, Camille plays guitar, loves horror movies, and has recently gotten into motorcycles. Follow Camille on Twitter @CamilleCrimson and on Facebook.

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Best of 2012! How to Give Deep-Throat Without Gagging (NSFW)

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Best of 2012! Erotic Spanking 101: Positions & Toys (NSFW)

Spanking seems like a lost art to many non-kinksters. More than taboo, it seems like it could be painful or malicious. At GetLusty, we're all about educating so you do it right. Spanking can be really enjoyable. It can also provide a different set of sensations during your sex sessions than you normally don't get. Before doing the more kinky activities, we do recommend you read Jean-Luc Gothos Sexual Negotiation 101 and talk about consent. Always, always, always talk about it before you do it! Let each other know you're curious about doing something different. You know--shaking things up a little.

That being said, you heard from our long-time writer Ellen Dukes about whipping and flogging. Now, how about a more rounded out view on erotic spanking? We think this practice is rather sexy, so GetLusty's Rachel Colias is here to report on why and how you can try this erotic foreplay artfully.

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Have your fantasies ever included being disciplined? Do you become aroused by rough, consensual play? Is the idea of being someone’s submissive partner one you enjoy? If you answered yes to any of these questions, or are excited by the scenarios, you may be interested in exploring erotic spanking! The technical term for being aroused by spanking is spankophilia, and you don’t have to be on the receiving end to enjoy it! Spankophilia also includes becoming aroused by delivering a spanking to other parties.

As simple as spanking sounds, those here at GetLusty for Couples are here to explain how complex it can really be. Between different positions, toys, foreplay, costumes and role play, it can get more complicated than you’d think. But if erotic spanking is something you want to try, or if you want to mix up your spanking routine, I’m sure we can offer you a great selection to choose from!

The possibilities for erotic spanking are so extensive that we’ve decided to split the article up into two parts. This first part outlines different positions and toys that are great for spanking.

While many may assume erotic spanking is a more modern kink, there’s evidence that it actually dates back to around the sixth century b.c. The evidence for this being an image found in an Etruscan burial site depicting an eroticized flagellation, or, flogging. This erotic punishment also permeated quite a bit into Victorian culture and, more specifically, pornography. Of course it’s hard to say where and when it truly started, but it’s hardly outdated! Let’s get started on the basics.

Positions 

What better place to start than the how? It’s easy to assume that most positions include a person being in a bent over position, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be that bland. Here are a few tips on different ways to set up the act: (Remember! You can add ankle, wrist, or body restraints to any of these positions!)

#1 The spanker sits in the middle of a long couch,  while the spankee — person being spanked — lays stomach-down across their lap with their ass positioned directly over the spanker’s crotch. If the spanker happens to be male-bodied, this gives the spankee a wonderfully exciting sensation when he/she/they start(s) to become aroused. This is also a pretty comfortable position for the spankee.

#2 The spankee kneels on a couch or chair, facing backwards, bending over with their hands on the back of the furniture. The spanker stands in front of the couch or chair, facing the spankee’s back. This gives the spanker a pretty dominant position considering they’re practically standing over the spankee and is perfect for dominant/submissive play.

#3 The spankee lies stomach-down on the floor, ass either flat or slightly elevated if you want to tuck a pillow under the spankee’s stomach, while the spanker either stands or kneels above them.

#4 A modification to the previous option, the spankee can also lay stomach-down on a bed, table, or any other flat surface that allows for the spanker to stand over them.

#5 Both the spanker and spankee are standing for this one. The spankee leans slightly forward, hands either flat against a wall or holding on to something like a table or door frame. The spanker stands behind or slightly beside the spankee.

#6 Of course, the classic spankee bent over the spanker’s lap. This is different from the first scenario in that it’s generally performed in a chair where the spankee is entirely bent over, not just lying down. Again, if the spanker is male-bodied there’s an added pleasure bonus for the spankee!

#7 The spankee bends over a table, lying stomach-down on its surface, while the spanker stands behind.

#8 The spankee is bent over the shoulder or the arm of the spanker.

#9 Looking for something a little more serious and expensive? Try purchasing a spanking bench! This apparatus comes in quite a few positional styles and can include rings for restraints.

All of the above-mentioned techniques are suggestions that can easily be modified to fit different scenarios or furniture. If you have any personal favorites I haven’t mentioned, leave them in the comments below!

Toys

But what do we do with all these new, fun situations? Here are a few toys, or spanking tools, you can integrate into the process now that you’ve assumed the position:

#1 In honor of #SexToyTuesday, my first suggestion is Chicago’s Early To Bed Jack Boot Paddle (to the right). Be warned, this paddle is not for beginners or light dabblers. This boot-shaped paddle packs a punch! The boot print is made of rubber and the paddle wood, so there is NO give! When you get spanked, you will definitely feel it!

#2 If the serious-business paddles aren’t really your style, why not try the back of a hairbrush? It’s much smaller and while plastic or wood still stings, it’s easier and cheaper to experiment with. Similarly, you can use a wooden spoon.

#3 Another wooden option would be a cane, which comes in all lengths and girths.

#4 Standard paddle (comes in materials such as soft leather, rubber, or wood and can even be found with feathers or a soft material cover for a lighter sensation).

#5 Riding crop, which is long and generally comes with a handle on one end and small, flat spanking surface on the other. These are effective in causing quick, sharp and stinging sensations.

#6 The classic hand. While pretty standard and totally free, there is definitely a variety of techniques that can be used. These include flat hand with fingers spread, cupped hand, hard open palm, an immediate spank-and-grope, and basically anything else you can think of!

#7 Although this isn’t necessarily “spanking,” flogs and whips are also great for delivering a backside-beating.

As always, feel free to comment about your own favorite toys!

This article was written by Rachel Colias. She’s currently getting her bachelors in English and Women’s and Gender studies and feels especially passionate about advocating for the importance of consent and communication. 

Her hobbies include shopping for new vibrators playing roller derby, and getting tattoos her mom doesn’t approve of. When she’s not writing for GetLusty or doing homework, she’s playing with her bearded dragon Terrance and you can generally find her reading comic books with her loving boyfriend of six years or eating pizza and watching Netflix. You can find and follow her Tumblr blog here! Also connect with her at editorial@getlusty.com.

You have read this article advice / BDSM / better sex / erotic / for couples / for men / for women / foreplay / rachel colias / sex toy tuesday / sex toys with the title foreplay. You can bookmark this page URL https://lamentoeternal.blogspot.com/2013/01/best-of-2012-erotic-spanking-101.html. Thanks!

Best of 2012! 3 Simple Ways to Give a More Loving Handjob

It's never to late to ponder about all the fabulous things that happened in 2012 (think: GetLusty)! We loved this one so much, we put it back on the shelf as a, "Best of"!

Handjobs should never be forgotten or underrated. What could be more sexy than waking your man up in the morning with your hand gently caressing his shaft? Now, we all know by now how to give an amazing blowjob and why blowjobs are important thanks to the amazingly talented Camille Crimson. But what about the handjob? Tommy Allen, our favorite happily married husband, is here with some advice on the handjob and why it can be the main attraction more often, rather than just a teaser.

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How can something so simple and yet so sexually satisfying as a handjob be so misunderstood? Just the sight of her dainty hand wrapped around your growing and responding sex tool is a visual aphrodisiac.

Too often, a handjob has been relished to the role of foreplay; just a teaser, not the main attraction. I think occasionally, the perfect handjob can be the feature! Below are several recommendations for making your next manual love session better.

#1 Initiate 

Wake up one morning and gently roll him on his side facing away from you. Pull yourself tight against his back with your breasts pressed hard against him. Reach over and touch his lower stomach with your fingers. Rub your hand back and forth just above his dick without touching it. In a few moments he'll have an erection that cannot continue to be ignored.

Have a towel handy and place it where the expected explosion will occur. When you put the towel under him you are telling him that you expect to jack him off until he cums and he should feel free to let that happen. That towel is the assurance he needs to realize he's free to let go and let it happen.

#2 Move slow and steady 

Now wrap your hand around his hard toy. Bend your hand so the tips of your fingers are rubbing against the underside of his penis as your hand moves up and down his shaft in a slow, steady motion. Let the palm of your hand gently glide back and forth along the entire length. Don't jerk, don't beat, just sensually slide up and down and quicken the pace ever so slightly as you feel him tensing.

Just remember he is absolutely enjoying your hand jerking off his dick, but it's the totality of sensations that accumulate to make this a mind-blowing experience. Breathe gently on the back of his neck while pulled up close to him. Push your pelvis forward so he can feel the warmth of your femininity against his ass. Brush your toes against his legs and feet.

#3 Connect with him in the moment

Just before explosion, pull the final trigger. Stop stroking and put your finger in your mouth as if you're tasting what he's offering.

Then caress the head of his penis with your wet fingers from your own mouth. Rub the moisture all over the head so he knows you are sharing your juices with him. The time is right to pick up the pace and finish the job.

Make your strokes more deliberate and intense. Breath heavily with him letting him know you are anxiously anticipating his release.

Once he ejaculates, gently rub the extra juices over the head of his penis while you both relax and enjoy the moment. I'll bet he'll offer you something special in return. Check out Tommy's other article on lovingly playing with his balls, for some added pleasure!

When we heard from Tommy, we were very excited. He's still very much in love with his wife of over 3 decades. And he wants to share his successful skills! 

Tommy has been happily married for 34 years and together he and his wife has 3 grown sons. He is a student of life and love. He loves to learn by watching, listening and observing others. He use his blog to share his observations on life, love and relationships. Love is Tommy's favorite subject. He and his wife have lived, loved, loved and loved some more in Daytona Beach for more than 18 years.

You have read this article for couples / foreplay / hand job / sex technique / sexual adventures / Tommy with the title foreplay. You can bookmark this page URL https://lamentoeternal.blogspot.com/2013/01/best-of-2012-3-simple-ways-to-give-more.html. Thanks!

5 Ways to Make Sex More Sensual

You've heard from GetLusty about intimacy and sensuality in sex - about intimacy before and after. So how about making the act itself - whether that's intercourse or foreplay - more sensual? Our newest writers, the cutest counseling couple we've seen recently, Dr. Janelle Alex, Ph.D. and Rob Alex, M.Sc., are here to shed light on sensuality in sex.

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When you hear the word “sensual” you are most likely going to relate it to something sexual. If someone says to you, “You should try these strawberries. They are the most sensual fruit I have ever tasted,” where does your mind go?

Does it click in on just the fact that those strawberries must have been ripened to perfection? Or does your mind instantly click to a sexy image of biting into the fruit? What if someone offers to take you on a sensual journey? The first thing that probably comes to mind is the sexual scenario implied by such an offer and not the possibility he/she was just inviting you to the local grocery and department store. That could be sensual after all – taste this food, smell that cologne, feel this fabric, hear that song, read those tabloid headlines.

Yet, isn’t doing your regular shopping something you sometimes dread. It has become boring. It feels like a chore. You just want to hurry up and get it over with because you know you need to do it, but really don’t want to. Uh oh, those descriptions might well cover something else in your life. Sex.

Sex can absolutely be animalistic and a "rip your clothes off and jump on your partner" experience, but it can be very slow and sensual too. It should never just be about taking off your clothes, getting under the covers, groping each other a couple of minutes and then bumping and grinding for a few more minutes. So, how can you explore sensuality and bring it back into your sex life? Remember that sensual means that you are gratifying the senses. Satisfying all of your desires such as seeing, touching, smelling, hearing, and tasting is where sensuality really arrives on the scene. And, guess what, satisfying your sixth sense – your intuition or spiritual self, is quite sensual too.

Here are 5 ways to make your intimate play sensual. Bonus: Call it intimate play ;) That changes it up right from the start.

#1 Focus on sensation

Wear clothing that feels good on your skin. Silk is a common suggestion here as it is cool to touch and so smooth. The feel of it brushing against your skin throughout the day can be a turn on. And, when your partner touches you through the silk that can be extremely exciting for both of you. If you don’t want to wear a sensual type of material during the day, then pick up some silk scarves or a feather or something velvety. Then you can use these different items to drag over your lover’s skin later in the evening. Focus on the sensation of the material or item touching you. It may be relaxing, tickly, or it may just have you ready to grab your lover and get busy.

#2 Light up your senses

Bring different flavors and smells into your lovemaking. One interesting way to do this is to get the Sexy Challenge: Lips Like Sugar as it offers you unique insight into trying different tastes with and/or upon your partner. Adding different flavors to your physically intimate life with your beloved can occur in a variety of ways. Food may seem like an obvious thing to bring into your lovemaking and there are many ways to do that, but don’t overlook flavored lubes as well. There are also a vast number of ways to bring in amazing aromas. Scented candles (we always recommend flameless candles for safety), lotions, colognes, lubes, and the different food items are all great ways to enhance your sensuality.

#3 Listen

What about hearing? How can you make that sensual? You could whisper sexy phrases or words of love into your partner’s ear. You could turn on music that you both enjoy and that will get you in the mood.

But what about hearing the sound of your lover’s laughter? Bringing laughter and silliness into your sex life can be an amazing experience. Just let go and be goofy together. Laughter and lightheartedness will bring powerful, playful passion into your life and hopefully, you will come to appreciate the sensuous sound of your lover’s laugh.

#4 Massage

Time for a little naked massage! Yay! This actually satisfies more than one sense. With low lighting you can visually soak up the beauty of your sweetie all oiled up and glistening, but you can enjoy the aromas of scented oils or just the animalistic smell of him/her too. With both of you naked you can take turns rubbing your hands, your feet and your entire body – yep, genitals are great massage tools too – over your lover.

#5 Focus on their pleasure

Last but not least, we highly recommend that you pay attention and be consciously aware not only during foreplay and lovemaking, but at the peak of orgasm, after you are coming down from orgasm and for the next couple of days.

How do you feel? Did you notice anything out of the ordinary – visions, images, an extreme sense of bliss or simply like you entered a void or time was suspended? Sexual orgasmic energy taps you into the creative source (call it whatever you like – the Universe, Spirit, God, the Divine or even I don’t know what it is, but it sure feels goooood). This access to creativity through orgasm is why we want you to pay attention up to a few days later to see if you are more creative, have new ideas, solve problems easier than normal or maybe you just have a bigger smile on your face and feel energized.

Use these five ways to bring more sensuality into your sex life and we believe you will transform your relationship and take your intimacy to a higher level – no matter where it is now.

We're so excited to get a couple writing for GetLusty! They're both adorable, smart and altogether wonderful!

Dr. Janelle Alex, Ph.D. and Rob Alex, M.Sc. are writers, counselors as well as Sacred and Sensual Teachers. They recently completed an eBook on "Sexy Challenges: Sacret and Sensual Experiences for Lovers" which is on sale at Amazon! Learn more about them on Sexy Challenges.

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3 Must Read Books on Cunnilingus

Just in time for New Years! It's the holidays, and you might still be thinking about gifts for that special person in your life. Well, books are a good way to show you care--and note how much you love making love with them. You want you both to have better sex, so maybe your partner would like to read an oral sex book together? On top of that, we had a great response for other 3 Books on Giving the Best Cunnilingus. GetLusty writer Stephanie Vanderwall brings you 3 of the best books on cunnilingus.

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When it comes to blowing a woman’s mind, these authors know what they’re talking about! So pick your favorite, study up, and try out some new tips and tricks on that lovely lady of yours.

#1 Oral Sex That’ll Blow Her Mind: An Illustrated Guide to Giving Her Amazing Orgasms

By Shanna Katz

You can’t be a superstar sex partner until you’ve mastered the subtle art of cunnilingus. For starters, you need to get your timing down, learn what licks feel good and how to be sure your partner is truly enjoying your efforts. Luckily, Oral Sex That’ll Blow Her Mind teaches all this and a whole lot more. Whether you’re just getting started or are practically an oral expert, this book has just what you need. It’s packed with tips and techniques to improve those tingling tongue moves and features tastefully erotic photos of positions perfect for oral pleasuring. Oral Sex That’ll Blow Her Mind is far more than a set of skills. It explains how cunnilingus helps you feel connected with your partner (whether you are the giver or the receiver) and how to enrich that experience.

“I really enjoyed this book. Not only was it interesting and informative, it had a really fun tone as well. The author was definitely enjoying herself when she wrote it. Or at least that’s the sense I get then I see a lot of fun alliteration. I appreciated that the book covered a lot of topics from the rank beginner to someone more experienced. I would highly recommend this book to anyone wanting to improve their oral sex technique.” –Amazon Customer

#2 The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus: How to Go Down on a Woman and Give Her Exquisite Pleasure 

By Violet Blue, forward by Margaret Cho

This 2011 Independent Publisher Awards silver medalist is truly the bible of oral sex. The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus gives excellent advice, encouragement, and helpful instruction to those who want to expand their expertise or are simply curious about the art’s finer points. In her clear, concise, and informative text, sex educator Violet Blue provides step-by-step instructions for going down on a woman, as well as accurate and up-to-date information on female anatomy and sexual response.

In her friendly, witty tone, Blue dispatches fascinating facts and discusses games for lovers, positions, safety, and a variety of techniques; she also offers erotic book and DVD recommendations, and tips for effective communication during the act itself. Featuring helpful illustrations and erotica by sexpert Alison Tyler, this is the essential guide to going down.

Sex advice blogger Susie Bright raves: “Violet Blue’s cunnilingus book is the best sheer technique manual I’ve ever read on going down.”

“I think this is a great book. My husband and I never experimented in this area for many reasons...mostly my own insecurity. This book opened my eyes in all directions. If you are looking for a book to help you in this area it is a good one. I have hunted all over and this is by far the best one! Have fun!” –Amazon Customer

#3 The Best Oral Sex Ever: His Guide to Going Down

By Yvonne K. Fulbright, Ph.D.

Eating out has never been so hot. Sexologist Yvonne K. Fulbright exposes the facts and fantastic tricks oral sex aficionados live by in her brazen how-to for men. This guide gives you the tools you need to thrill her every night, including: making cunnilingus the evening's main course or the first stop in a night of multiple orgasms, techniques from the sacred "Flutter of the Butterfly" to modern Oral Sex Acrobatics, how to overcome any woman's oral sex hang-ups, and how to broach the subject of wanting to give her oral sex—even when it makes her nervous.

Packed with the most erotic ideas for pleasuring her, this men's manual will send you running for the covers.

One satisfied Amazon reader says: “This is a fun book, and even better if you have someone to practice on :-) I haven't completely finished it, but so far it's been very informative; a nice balance between being too clinical on the one hand, and too lewd / crude on the other.”

“Great book for learning some finer points to this subject! I learned a lot of new things and my wife benefited! Did talk about some things I already knew yet some might not. 
I strongly recommend this manual because it does meet its purpose plus!” –Barnes & Noble Customer

Stephanie has long believed she is a gay man trapped in a woman's body. She is a lover of good food, good sex and good grammar. A recent transplant to Chicago, she spends her free time with her super-duper-fly boyfriend and their three "kids" (2 cats, 1 dog). She has a blog she writes in every so often. She's still trying to get the whole Twitter thing down, but you can follow her @Vanderfloozie. Want to get in touch with her? Email stephanie@getlusty.com.

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