Best of 2012! 5 Health Benefits of Orgasm

Since we got lots of love for this article, we're including it as a 2012 favorite!

Big, small, earth shattering: we love them all. I am talking about orgasms of course! Though Orgasm October is over, our whole team is thinking about orgasms. They make us feel amazing, relaxed, re-energized, happy, and sexy. Everyone loves an orgasm! Who doesn't? But, besides those awesome things, orgasms also have some great health benefits. Not only do they feel amazing but here are some ways they improve our health! Our Crimson Love reports.

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Like you ever needed an excuse to want an orgasm? Well, now you do. Below are 5 reasons you must be having orgasms regularly. Whether it's with a partner or alone, orgasms are an excellent way to touch yourself or sex yourself healthy. Anyway you spin it, orgasms are great!

Without adieu, the 5 health benefits of orgasm:

#1 Heart health

When your man cums, take it! Swallowing semen is not only good for your teeth but it is also good for your heart. Semen helps keeps plaque levels low and rigorous sex is also a great cardio workout. Have more sex and more orgasms because it helps keep your heart strong and your teeth healthy.


#2 Stress relief 

Ever notice how when you have that big "O" it feels like everything else that stresses you out just melts away? It's because of the chemicals that your brain releases, dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin. They all give you happy, loving feelings. Sex for your stress, anyone?  

#3 Pain relief 

OK, so admittedly, we did just write an article about how sex can be painful. We hope this isn't the case. If you are experiencing pain in sex, do check out that article. However, if you're experiencing pain in different areas of your body, orgasm can really alleviate that pain.

How? Orgasm works similarly to stress relief when oxytocin, dopamine, and endorphins are released in the body. When these chemicals are released, they increase your tolerance to pain. So, that headache that you have can feel a little better after a nice romp. No more excuses.

#4 Orgasms fight cancer

Regular sexual activity is good for your sexual organs. Regular ejaculation helps keep prostate cancer away. Similarly, regular sexual activity and orgasm is good for the vagina because it helps to keep different uterine conditions at bay. Have more sex to keep your sexual organs healthy!

#5 Better sleep 

After your orgasm, your body releases a cocktail of amazing chemicals. One of them is endorphins which not only makes you feel happy but can also have the effect of a sedative. More sex and orgasms for better sleep? Yes, please!

Having orgasms does wonders for the body and for your overall health. So, go ahead have some more.

With love from, GetLusty!

This is a guest post by our very own Crimson Love.

Crimson is our resident BDSM fetish expert. If you don't see Crimson out dining with her adoring boyfriend, you'll find her reading books on innovation or finance. Crimson is currently finishing off her Bachelor's, she is passionate about food, photography, music and especially sex--and she's not afraid to talk about it. With everyone! Have story ideas? Get in touch with Crimson at amber@getlusty.com. 

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3 Must Read Books on Women's Sexual Health

Ladies, can we talk? While the good folks at GetLusty want you and your partner to get your freak on as much as possible, we know it’s just not as awesome if your bodies aren’t feeling so great. So we’ve put together a list of books geared toward all the crazy things that go on inside those beautiful bodies. And, let’s face it, there’s a LOT going on. These books rock because they are straightforward and sex-positive. Take care of you! GetLusty writer Stephanie Vanderwall reports.

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#1 Sex Matters For Women, Second Edition: A Complete Guide to Taking Care of Your Sexual Self


By Sallie Foley, MSW, Sally A. Kope, MSW, and Dennis P. Sugrue, Ph.D.

Sex is talked about more openly today than ever before, but if you still struggle with sexual myths, self-doubt, and "embarrassing" questions, you are in good company. Now in a fully updated second edition, this trusted guide has already helped many thousands of women understand how their bodies work and take charge of their sexuality. The authors are experienced therapists who interweave candid reflections from diverse women with current, science-based information, exercises, and advice. You'll find answers to everything from how to have more satisfying sex to questions about body image, anatomy, hormones, relationships, sexual orientation, sexually transmitted infections, and trauma. If sexuality is a lifelong journey consider this book a roadmap for self-discovery and growth.

Hilda Hutcherson, M.D., author of What Your Mother Never Told You About Sex says: "This second edition takes a classic book on female sexuality to another level. It is comprehensive and grounded in research, yet fun to read alone or with a partner. With a focus on female sexual satisfaction and pleasure, this book is a 'must have' for women of all ages and backgrounds. I can't wait to share it with my daughter!"

Beverly Whipple, Ph.D., coauthor of The G Spot calls it "the most comprehensive book on women's sexual health I have ever read. The clear, positive information and the suggested exercises cover all aspects of women's sexuality and offer ways for women to take charge of their sexual selves. The second edition features new information and resources, offered in a supportive and affirming manner, which will help readers, develop sexual comfort, confidence, and satisfaction. A 'must read' for women of all ages."

#2 What’s Up Down There?: Questions You’d Only Ask Your Gynecologist If She Was Your Best Friend

By Lissa Rankin, M.D.

Suppose you had a wise, warm, funny best friend—who just happened to be a gynecologist. You’re out with the girls for cocktails and the conversation turns to sex, and then to girly parts. One by one, you start asking her all the questions you’ve secretly wondered about—and discover that you have a lot in common.

If you were to write those questions down, then you’d have What’s Up Down There?, a life-changing little book that answers: Do old ladies have saggy vaginas?, How do male gynecologists have a sex life without feeling like they’re stuck at the office?, Is it normal for your inner labia to hang out of your outer labia?, Can the baby feel its mom having sex during pregnancy?, How common is it for one's boobs to be two totally different sizes? And so much more! As outrageously funny as it is empowering, this book reveals how to love yourself and your body; and will have you recommending it to every woman you know.

Diana Daffner, author of Tantric Sex For Busy Couples says: “Dr. Lissa Rankin has written a courageous book, providing information about topics that few others are willing to tackle. And when she doesn’t know the answer, she says so, giving us all the more reason to trust the answers she does give. What’s Up Down There dispels myths while reminding us of the beauty and mystery of our girl-bodies.”

“This was a really fun book to read, a real treasure trove of user-friendly information about the female body. Dr. Rankin really does come across as the reader's girlfriend, with her fun, down to earth, informal writing style…I love how the book ended with chapters on female empowerment and reclaiming ownership of your yoni. This isn't just some book of medical information; it's a gateway into learning to love the female body and to take it back from all the negative societal messages out there denigrating women and female sexuality. These really are the types of questions most women would never think to ask their gynecologist unless she were their best friend, and the kinds of dialogues that the average modern doctor doesn't have time for.” –Amazon Customer

#3 When Sex Hurts: A Woman’s Guide To Banishing Sexual Pain

By Andrew Goldstein, M.D., Caroline Pukall, Ph.D., and Irwin Goldstein, M.D.

For the 20 million women who suffer from painful intercourse: this is the first book to address the multiple causes and the available treatments. Painful sex is a condition that causes embarrassment and silence—often going undiscussed or misdiagnosed. As many as 40 percent of women that suffer from pain during sex won’t seek medical care. And most medical professionals are still in the dark when it comes to women’s sexual pain.

Now, three leading experts tackle the stereotypes, myths, and realities of sexual pain in this easy-to-understand, accessible guide that will help you get the help you need and deserve. Drs. Goldstein, Pukall, and Goldstein offer answers to your most pressing questions, as well as: up-to-date information on the more than 20 causes of sexual pain, how to choose the right doctor—and how to interpret your doctor’s lingo, valuable tips for understanding sexual pain, and what can be done about it, and how to rebuild sexual intimacy once the pain is gone. Featuring groundbreaking research and stories from women who’ve also suffered—and recovered—When Sex Hurts provides all of the tools you need to stop hurting and start healing.

Cindy Meston, Ph.D., Professor of Clinical Psychology, University of Texas at Austin, author of Why Women Have Sex calls it “the most comprehensive, accessible, and illuminating look into women’s sexual pain ever written, packed with up-to-date and invaluable information. When Sex Hurts is a must read for any woman, or partner of a woman, who has experienced painful sex.”

“I really enjoyed this book. It goes into so much detail and lets you know all the possible causes and it tells you how to talk to your doctor and working together for the best treatment. It also made me hopeful that I may not have to live with this forever and that there are treatments that are less invasive then surgery that may work. I think anyone suffering from vaginal pain should read this book!” –Amazon Reader

Stephanie Vanderwall has long believed she is a gay man trapped in a woman's body. She is a lover of good food, good sex and good grammar. A recent transplant to Chicago, she spends her free time with her super-duper-fly boyfriend and their three "kids" (2 cats, 1 dog). She has a blog she writes in every so often. She's still trying to get the whole Twitter thing down, but you can follow her @Vanderfloozie. Want to get in touch with her? Email stephanie@getlusty.com.

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5 Yoga Poses for Better Sex

This new year, health is probably an issue coming to your mind soon in the form of resolutions. But how about feeling better and enjoying a better sex life? GetLusty For Couples is totally serious about being healthy, because being healthy can give you a better sex life. This is the second in a series on using yoga for better sex. Our yogini, Lora Swarts, is here to talk about how yoga can be used to improve your sex life.

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Yoga has an abundance of benefits for both your mental and physical well-being. As a yoga student myself, I have seen changes in my own body that, honestly, running never gave me. The endorphins are still there after a yoga class, however what's not there is a feeling of anxiousness. When I would run I would compete with myself. "Run faster" or "run farther" "don't walk, that is for quitters." Running which once was fun, had turned into a very competitive personal sport that I really needed to break up with. When I found yoga, my entire mindset changed. 

I have no more competitions with myself. I feel better emotionally, and I have more confidence. Yoga melts away anxiety, poor body image, and fatigue and worry. When you are free from these, then your inhibitions seem to dissolve as well, bringing you closer to better sex and orgasm. When you are connected to your inner self and spirit rather than the clutter in your head, you get closer to the present and worry less about how you are performing or what your body looks like. The sex becomes more freeing and uninhibited.

I always recommend that everyone should give yoga a shot.  Soon enough you will start to reap the benefits and your partner will too. In our last post, I recommended 5 yoga poses to help your body and mind get in better shape for sex. Now I am back with 5 more poses! Try doing these with your partner for a little added fun before you head to the bedroom.



#1 Cat/Cow

Cat/cow pose is a simple warm-up that engages your pelvic muscles. When you are doing cat/cow you strengthen your Kegel muscles, the ones that contract during orgasm.

To do cat/cow pose:

Come into a table top position with your shoulders over wrists and your hips directly over your knees. Inhale (cow) drop your belly, lift your chest up away from your belly and extend your tailbone toward the sky. Exhale (cat pose), press into your hands, round your back like a cat, gently contract your abdominal muscles. Repeat these moves six times.

#2 Plank pose

Plank pose helps strengthen core and abdominal muscles.

To do plank pose or as my yoga teacher says, "plankasana":

Stack your shoulders over your wrists. Keep your body flat as a board. Press back through your heels. Hold plank pose for 30 seconds and rest for 15 seconds and repeat for another 30 seconds. The yogi push up, also known as, chaturanga, is also very important in strengthening your arm muscles because they require lots of control. To do a chaturanga, come forward onto your toes, bend your elbows (keeping them close to your ribcage) and lower half way down creating a 90 degree angle with your arms. Hold in this low push up for a few seconds, without letting your body collapse. To rest, come down to your stomach and rest with one ear on your mat. Doing planks and yogi push ups will get your arms toned and ready for any sexy position in your future!

#3 Cobra 

Cobra pose, is a heart opener pose. Heart openers connect to our heart chakras. Love, energy, and breath come from the heart chakra and therefore this pose indirectly connects to our sexual intimacy. Its an energizing, mild back bend too. So when you are feeling too tired, try a few cobras to open your heart and awaken your sexual energy!

To do cobra:

You can enter cobra after lowering from plank pose, or just get right into on its own. Lie on your belly with your palms facing down, close to your low ribs. Draw your legs together and press the tops of your feet into the floor. Press your hands down evenly as your draw your elbows close to the sides of your body. On an inhale, using the strength of your back, not the force of your hands, lift your chest off the mat and draw your shoulders away from your ears. Gaze slightly in front of your mat to keep your head, neck and spine aligned. This pose comes from your lower back, so release the tension in your glutes. Hold this pose for about 10 seconds, then gently release to the floor. Do three sets of cobra pose.


#4 Utkata Konasana or Goddess pose

Who doesn't want to feel like a goddess in this victory squat? This pose strengthens your glutes, thighs, quads and abdominal muscles. You will feel strength from your insides, out.

To do goddess pose:

Stand at the top of your mat. Step to the right, opening your legs about three feet apart. Turn your heels in and your toes out. Bend your knees until you are in a wide squat and your thighs are parallel to the ground. Ensure that your knees are directly over your ankles so adjust your stance if you need to. Bring your hands to prayer position. Hold here for 5 focused, deep breaths.

#5 Bound angle pose

Baddha Konasana, or bound angle pose, opens up the thighs and groins while increasing blood flow to your genitals.

To do Baddha Konasana:

Sit with your legs out in front of you. Bend your knees, draw your heels as close to your pelvis as possible and bring the soles of your feet together. Allow your knees to open. Always keep the outer edges of your feet planted on the floor. Grasp your big toes with your thumb, index and middle fingers.  Don't force your knees open, rather release the heads of your thigh bones to the floor and your knees will follow. Your pelvis should be in a neutral position and your perineum parallel to the floor. Hold for 1-5 minutes. To release, on an inhale, slowly bring your knees together and straighten your legs out in front of you.

Try these five yoga poses to gain some strength, confidence and better circulation. Do these poses in a row to create a mini yoga sequence that you can do anywhere! Add in some downward facing dogs and child's pose when you need to rest.

Namaste!

Lora is our Editorial intern and resident health nut. When she is not writing or editing, you can find her on her yoga mat, exploring Chicago via bicycle, or hanging out with her wonderful boyfriend and Beagle puppy in their north side apartment. She has a habit of spending too much money on soy lattes and yoga clothes. Find her on Twitter @HoneyNutLo. Have any questions? Email her at Lora@GetLusty.com!

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Is Your Relationship Really Ready for Polyamory?

So we just jumped straight into polyswinging and then polyamory. It's going to keep popping up, of course. Why? We're all about exploring ways to make your relationship better. Polyamory might be it? You never know. O.M. Grey, a knowledgeable polyamory writer and prolific blogger, talks about the characteristics of a polyamorists. Is your relationship ready for polyamory? O.M. Grey explains more. Read on!

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I’ve learned so  much in the past two years. And I’m going to share it with you without holding back. Not even a little bit. This is “my truth,” as the new-agey, responsibility-avoiding people like to say.

My husband and I have been polyamorous for about seven years. Although, I suppose the first few were much more about being a non-descript form of an open marriage since we weren’t seeking multiple, committed, loving relationships. The theory behind our lifestyle is what I’ve said again and again: Love breeds love and desire breeds desire. Any encounter we had outside our marriage during those first few years were very open and the intentions on both sides were very, very clear.

When we moved into practicing polyamory (seeking out another committed, loving relationship) I learned not everyone has the same definition of polyamory as us. Well, as those people who are successfully practicing a polyamory lifestyle do.

So let's take apart, "poly" and "amory" to understand better.

What is poly?

Most people who love to call themselves (and hide behind) “poly” are really focused on quantity rather than quality. Alright. I can have more than one girlfriend/lover. So, I’m going to have three! Because, let’s see... I’ve never been able to make a relationship with one woman work long term, so I’m going to try with three! That’s the ticket! That’s the answer! That’s where I’ve been going wrong for the past 15 years!

Most people I’ve met in the Austin poly community are not practicing polyamory. They’re dating. They go from several short-term relationships to several short-term relationships, none lasting more than 3-6 months. Hello! Not polyamory! That’s dating! And not dating very successfully because they keep ending!

Also in the Austin, poly community are several truly polyamorous families. They are what’s known as the “core group.” One of them even call themselves the polypod, and I think that’s rather adorable. The polypod, from what I’ve seen (and I’ve only seen them from a distance), as well as the few other multi-relationship groups who I know a little better and I’d consider friends, are doing it well. And by well, I mean successfully. They are open, honest, respectful, loving and supportive. They commit and invest in their relationships.

They might have casual sex on the side from time to time, but it’s after their current relationships are firmly established and secure. Because, after all, it’s about more love… not more sex. And the few times you need to fulfill that biological need with someone different, then be honest about that. Never lie to get laid. How disgusting.


What about 'amory' or love?

The most successful polyamorous relationships I’ve seen focus much more on the “amorous” part of the word, less on the “poly” part. It’s about love! It’s all about love! Relationships take effort, investment, time and energy to solidify. If you claim to be poly, think about this: If you want to be poly, think about this:

Take. One. Relationship. At. A. Time.

When your first relationship has a solid foundation (and I mean SOLID foundation), the kind that takes at least a year, if not more, to establish, then look for a second one. This is not a race to see who can have the biggest harem. And, by the way, if you’re building a harem. YOU’RE NOT POLY! You’re a misogynist and a predator who sees women as life support systems for their pussies.

How to become polyamorous 

Romantic relationships contain drama (how I’ve come to loathe that word). It’s built in. Everyone has their insecurities and their baggage. Everyone has their idiosyncrasies. It takes time to build a solid foundation and learn how to communicate with each other. Build trust. Establish and maintain intimacy. Minimize and handle inevitable conflicts. Ease through misunderstandings. Manage fears and insecurities on both side. Get to a level of comfort and security in yourselves and each other.

Then, open up to dating others. I’m not talking about casual sex unless that’s specifically what you’re looking for. If it is, be very up front about that. Because polyamory means multiple, loving, committed relationships, or the pursuit thereof. Set clearly defined rules and don’t break them, or that will damage the trust you just spent a year building. Once you meet someone you think you can form a deeper relationship with, close off dating others. Focus on solidifying that second relationship while maintaining the first for another year!

Insecurities will pop up. Jealousies (and yes, they don’t magically disappear when you label yourself polyamorous) and misunderstandings will arise.

Give yourself time to learn about, develop, and nurture this other love. Commit yourself to making it work, for, again (and I repeat myself so much because so many people just don’t get it).
  
Healthy relationships require effort, investment and responsibility!

After the second relationship is solidified and the first is stronger than before, and you still have extra time/needs that aren’t being met, then look for a third relationship. But always remember, finding another significant other isn’t about finding someone better, it’s about increasing the love and the desire among your own little polypod. It’s about ensuring that everyone you love feels loved, not ignored or pushed to the side or replaced.

It’s about more love. Always, more love.

If you don’t have time/energy/capacity to manage, maintain, nurture, and grow one or two relationships, plus your job, plus your kids, plus time for yourself and your friends – why do you want another? It’s a recipe for disaster and heartache on many levels. You don’t date someone for three months and say, “Okay, ‘primary’ – check. We’re ‘solid,’ so who’s next?”

Fuck that. You’re not solid after three months. You’re barely starting. And if you run at the first sign of struggle, then, guess what, you're not a poly! If you find yourself saying “I want to be able to do what I want when I want, without responsibility or accountability,” then you’re not poly. You’re selfish.

The last two years have been difficult, as you all have seen from reading this blog, especially the past few months. Do you really think my marriage could’ve survived (let alone thrived and gotten stronger) if it hadn’t been quite literally unshakable?

And for those of you looking for you 100%-genuinely-happy-all-the-time-easy-no-drama-or-responsibility-perfect love? Grow the fuck up. There is no such thing. When you are a perfect partner, you’ll find your fairy tale perfect love. And let me tell you, mister, you’ve got a long fucking way to go. I guess the anger portion of the grieving has set in. It’s about fucking time.

This was a post by O.M. Grey. The original post can be found on her blog here.

Nestled in the mountains of Northern California, Olivia M. Grey lives in the cobwebbed corners of her mind writing paranormal romance with a Steampunk twist. She dreams of the dark streets of London and the decadent deeds that occur after sunset. As an author of Steamy Steampunk, as well as a poet, blogger, podcaster, and speaker, Olivia focuses both her poetry and prose on alternative relationship lifestyles and deliciously dark matters of the heart and soul.

Her work has been published in various anthologies and magazines like Stories in the Ether, Steampunk Adventures, SNM Horror Magazine and How The West Was Wicked. Her premier Steampunk BDSM erotica novel, Avalon Revisited, is an Amazon.com Gothic Romance bestseller. She loves to host tea parties, and she runs a delightful game of charades, Victorian style. Follow her on Twitter @omgrey and subscribe to her on Facebook.

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5 Rules for Mixing Food & Sex

Glorious, glorious food! And mixing them--it can be so lovely! But are there limits? Is there a way to make it super hot and actually possible at the same time? Yes, indeed there are! Think about it. Remember the refrigerator scene from 9 1/2 Weeks? That was hot! Our resident sexual adventurer and writer, Lynn Olejniczak, is back with her top recommendations on ways to get hot and steamy with sultry food play.

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It sounds like such a great idea. Your favorite person in the bedroom and your favorite food from the kitchen. What could go wrong? Unfortunately, plenty. But before you put the whipped cream back in the fridge, let’s go over that food pyramid. After all, there are some things that just shouldn’t be on the menu.

Not hot enough to burn

It sounds nice – drizzling warm chocolate, honey, or caramel over your lover’s body parts and licking it off but you have to take caution. Chances are this idea is going to pop into your head quickly. You are going to run to the microwave and zap the viscous fluid for 60 seconds, and run back to pour it onto your partner. Not a good idea. Microwaves cook at different temperatures and have hot spots. What may feel comfortable on the liquid’s surface could very well be hot lava below. Even worse, sticky foods stick. If it is too hot it will stick and burn. It will only take 5 seconds for something at 140ºF to cause a 3rd degree burn. That isn’t sexy, or fun.

If you want to incorporate hot fudge into your play you should heat it indirectly. Put it in a container and then put the container into warm water. Yes this will take longer but it is better than sitting in the emergency room with a burning crotch. How do you dress for that trip?

Watch the salt

Barbeque sauce, ketchup, marinara, hot sauce; some people wouldn’t think of bringing these into the bedroom, but other people look at it as a feast! These condiments have a crazy amount of salt. I’m not here to tell you to watch your diet but to watch where you put these things. If your partner just shaved, had a wax, or has a small cut where you want to spread this on it, the screaming you hear may be for all the wrong reasons.

Salt in a wound dissolves. The body’s receptors don’t like that and the wound tissue reacts by becoming hypertonic. This is where the pain comes from. Capsaicin in hot sauce will do the same thing. Even if you don’t have a wound, be careful not to rub your eyes or touch your partner’s face when going hot and salty.

If you want to go this route have water close by (just in case) and find out when your partner last shaved or waxed before applying. Use it a little at a time as opposed to covering a larger area, and I would probably think twice before heating salty things up.

Eating

Food is yummy. But if you want to eat something off of, or out of, your lover try to keep track of it. Obviously temperature and salt content still applies but say you want to spread strawberry preserves between your lover’s thighs and lick it out. Sounds great, but if you can’t get it all out make sure she can. Nothing is worse than getting something stuck inside of you. Diaphragms, the sponge, tampons have a string, band, or lip to grab for removal. That piece of melon does not. Douching offers no guarantee for removal either.

A good rule to follow is to make sure whatever you spread or insert is water soluble or pretty close to it. Make sure you can see everything you are using and remember if you push it too far with your tongue you might have a problem. Gravity could be helpful if something gets “lost” but if you can’t seem to recover that honey dew, get to the E.R.. You’re probably not the first person they have seen in this situation.

Time

Food begins its degeneration, or spoiling process once it is no longer refrigerated. This goes for lettuce as well as meat. Not that you are reaching for radicchio when you want to get it on. Or maybe you are, who am I to judge? Point is - fruits and veggies can spoil and cause food poisoning. Often this will come from pathogens being transferred to the food from a knife or other utensil, so be sure everything you use is clean. But keep an eye on your watch. Most doctors will agree that anything left out after two hours has the potential for more harm than good.

So about that meal you began before you lost control of yourself, and skipped straight to "dessert". If your love making lasted two hours or so, that filet mignon is toast. You’re better off clearing the dishes and ordering in. This goes for the brie and fig jam from your holiday buffet table after the guests have gone home. And yes, you have to dump the fresh whipped cream you put out at the coffee station. Sorry.

Mess

Finding a lost earring between the bed and the headboard weeks after you thought it was gone forever is a bonus. It will probably also trigger some pretty happy memories. Yea! Good for you. Finding a shmear of cream cheese at the foot of the bed days after playing deli-guy-and-out-of-towner is just gross. If you are going to use food just clean up afterwards. If this is something you like to do on a regular basis, maybe have a special set of sheets for the occasion. It is a lot easier to just change the sheets and deal with washing them tomorrow than finding an unpleasant surprise later.

Finding pleasure in foodplay is easy. You also won’t be faced with belly regrets or weird E.R. looks if you are smart about it. There is a bonus here too. When it comes time to clean up you don’t have to do it alone. I’m sure that shower has enough room for both of you. Second course, anyone?

Lynn Olejniczak is a native Chicagoan who loves her city and everything it has to offer. She spent 10 years as a NASDAQ trader in Chicago and New York in the 90's, then went back to college when "the rules changed and I realized no one was going to pay me lots of money to swear at them anymore."

She loves good food, and a perfectly poured Guinness at any Irish pub in the city. Her Beastie Boys CDs rest comfortably next to her Misfits vinyl, and she believes Underground Garage is the best radio program known to humankind. Armed with degrees in History, and a love of Urban Planning, Lynn is currently writing and researching a book on the 80's Chicago bar scene. Get in touch with Lynn at editorial@getlusty.com.

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3 Tips for Lovingly Playing With His Balls

We don't write frequently on testicles. They always seem to get left out. There's prostate play and pegging and our friend Charlie Glickman talks about prostate play. Although Camille Crimson noted testicle play in her blowjob recommendations. However, we haven't spoken about playing with your mans' balls. So Tommy Allen, our favorite happily married husband, is here to talk about why you might want to play with his balls more often. 

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Ball squeezing is so misunderstood. I'm sure some men have a very sensitive scrotum and their partner can tell when too much pressure is applied. For example, listen for the loud wail. But you'll be pleasantly surprised just how hard you can squeeze those begging balls when passion has consumed him.

The cupped hand of a loving partner around the family jewels is one of the most sensual things a guy can experience. A partner who is willing to hold your precious pearls in her hand and knead them gently is very special indeed. I'm talking about kneading like with bread. Gently. But when she knows what to do and how far she can go and how hard she can squeeze, it can be explosive.

Too much too soon can be painful, but just the right amount of pressure at the right time can be wonderful. My recommendations:

#1 Start very gently

Be sure you start softly and continue to become more aggressive - up until the point he pulls away. Pain can be erotic, in small bits. It can be a mood killer if you give too much before he's ready. He may have extremely sensitive testicles or not so much. First understanding his responses will let you know how gently (or more aggressive) you can massage his crown jewels.

#2 Start with one

You can embrace his entire ball sack is in your hand therefore spreading the pressure over a wider area. Or try kneading ONE ball between your fingers. Too much concentrated pressure and he will surely let you know. But by having his testicles in your hand you can apply gently increasing pressure as his pleasure escalates.

#3 Gradually add pressure

Once the mood has swung into high gear imagine yourself as his sexual master and in control of his whole being with only his balls in your hand. You can squeeze and squeeze hard to elicit response. At this point you can make him grimace in pain, as long as you keep the juices flowing. Add pressure, then release and rub his dick. The enjoyment of your hand on his dick quickly diminishes the pain in his balls.

There are few times a man enjoys waking up with sore and bruised balls. One of those is the morning-after having his balls worked over by an overzealous partner having her way with him. The guy thinks how sore his tesitcles are, then a smile comes over his face as he remembers those hands that were squeezing them only hours ago. The pleasure lingers with the pain.

Sometimes you ladies think of guy's balls the way men think of breasts - something to touch once, touch twice, and then go for gold. Men should savor and enjoy the breasts like fine wine and you girls should feast on those precious hanging nuts during the entire meal, not just as an appetizer.

When we heard from Tommy, we were very excited. He's still very much in love with his wife of over 3 decades. And he wants to share his successful skills! 

Tommy has been happily married for 34 years and together he and his wife has 3 grown sons. He is a student of life and love. He loves to learn by watching, listening and observing others. He use his blog to share his observations on life, love and relationships. Love is Tommy's favorite subject. He and his wife have lived, loved, loved and loved some more in Daytona Beach for more than 18 years. Check out his blog at www.bedroombootcamps.com

You have read this article advice / better sex / Communication / for couples / for men / for women / foreplay / health / men / Orgasm / penis / sexual adventures / Tommy with the title health. You can bookmark this page URL https://lamentoeternal.blogspot.com/2012/12/3-tips-for-lovingly-playing-with-his.html. Thanks!

10 Ways To Feel Sexier Naked

Being naked is all about freedom. Personally, I find clothes too restrictive and truly bothersome. No I am not a nudist, but I do feel my best naked. Ever since doing yoga regularly and eating more whole foods, I feel more confident, strong and beautiful. I want everyone to strip this Naked November and celebrate their bodies for what they are: beautiful! We need to stop judging ourselves so harshly and stop seeing the most minute "problems" with our bodies. Nobody is perfect. But it is true we are all beautiful and we should start seeing and feeling that! Here are 10 ways to feel sexier naked in honor of the revolutionary Naked November. Lora Swarts reports.

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#1 Take your vitamins! 

Eating foods rich in beta carotene and Vitamin C, which are antioxidants, helps prevent premature wrinkling. Beta carotene is found in sweet potatoes, carrots, mangoes, and apricots. Vitamin C is found in oranges, broccoli, red peppers and strawberries.

#2 Yoga

Yoga is not just a trendy exercise fad. Yoga can actually help improve your mood, increase confidence and strength. Whether taking a class or doing yoga solo, you will naturally let loose of all insecurities because you become only focused on your breath and postures. Soon enough you will want to always walk around your home naked after doing those yoga pushups and downward dogs. Need some inspiration for some doing yoga at home? Check out our articles on yoga for better sex!

#3 Stop cracking jokes about your body

Women are especially bad at this one. We need to stop making fun of our physical appearance because soon those will get stuck in our mind as truth. Stop yourself before you make that next jab at yourself. Remember that we are our own biggest critics and worst enemies. Turn your negative thoughts into positive ones every time a negative one comes to mind. Rather than make fun of your small chest or lackluster abdominal muscles, compliment yourself on your lovely eyes or compassionate smile.

#4 Spend time being naked 

The more time you spend naked, the more comfortable it feels. When you spend time in the buff your confidence soars and you will feel less inhibited sexually too! Get started today! Your homework is to watch TV naked, eat naked, do chores in the nude. But, if you are cooking naked, please watch out for hot oil!

#5 Start ogling yourself

Spend some time seeing yourself the way others do. Make a photo album filled with pictures of you that you find sexy, attractive, and confident. Or make a vision board that includes photos of you and phrases like "I am beautiful" pinned to the board. When your mind is focusing only on the negative, going through photos of yourself can really stop these negative feelings. Seeing yourself the way others do will help you feel sexy and more confident! Since it's Naked November, make sure to check out our other articles on being naked.

#6 Stop comparing yourself

Everyone is different and that is a great thing! Who wants to look at the same body shape all the time. Stop comparing your body to others because guess what, no one is perfect. Stop seeing everyone's strengths and start seeing your own!

#7 Work on body language 

Strut when you walk down the street. Hold your head high, uncross those arms, and stand tall. Improving your body language will do wonders for you because people respond positively to confident people. You will immediately want to rip your clothes off once you get home from work because that is how sexy you will feel!

#8 Exfoliate

Spend time with your skin. Take a long, intimate bath rather than a rushed shower. Spend time exfoliating your ankles, knees and elbows. When you don't have time to give your skin that spa treatment, simply moisturize with a sunscreen lotion. Taking care of your skin is just as important as working out and eating healthy- combine all three and you will always want to be naked!

#9 Explore yourself

Get to know your body right now. Drop the "if only's..." and "what if's..." because they don't get us anywhere! Confidence comes from loving yourself in the present. Homework: Get naked and check your body out in the mirror. From your toes to your scalp, explore yourself! If so inclined, begin touching yourself too. Massage your feet, touch your genitals, massage your hair. When you really get to know yourself, you will feel nothing but sexy when naked.

#10 Orgasm!

Orgasming is very sexy! Whether you are giving yourself some love or getting intimate with your partner, having an orgasm releases endorphins. Endorphins make us feel good and give us that sexy glow.

Lora is our Editorial intern and resident health nut. When she is not writing, you can find her on her yoga mat, exploring Chicago via bicycle, or hanging out with her wonderful boyfriend and Beagle puppy in their north side apartment. She has a habit of spending too much money on soy lattes and yoga clothes. Find her on Twitter @HoneyNutLo. Have any questions? Email her at Lora@Getlusty.com!

You have read this article body image / confidence / health / naked november / sexy with the title health. You can bookmark this page URL https://lamentoeternal.blogspot.com/2012/12/10-ways-to-feel-sexier-naked.html. Thanks!

4 Ways to Practice Self Love

The first in a two part series on self love, it's time for some honest. GetLusty woman to lusty woman. This topic is very close to myself and the other ladies here at GetLusty. What is it you ask? Today, I'm talking about self love. Your body, your curves. Everything about you. You're gorgeous and wonderful. GetLusty for Couples is all about positive body image, and acceptance at any and every size and shape. We don't condone body bashing. Before anything else you need to love yourself as you are. Crimson Love reports.

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As a woman who is still struggling with my own body image I can honestly say, I know it's easier said than done. The media doesn't help when it's shoving images of tan, taught and "perfect" looking people down your throat daily. The best thing to remember is that those people and images are tools. For advertising. Body acceptance and self love are life long journeys for most people (including myself) so here are some ways to point you in the right direction. Thanks to MadameNoire.com for the pic.

#1 Masturbate

Yes, touch yourself. Touch yourself all over and enjoy it. There is nothing better than getting down right intimate and lovey with yourself. Make yourself feel good, get your endorphins going and take note of how sexy it feels when you're enjoying yourself. Imagine how your man feels when he gets to have you. Lucky guy!

#2 Accept compliments graciously (people mean what they say)

Accepting compliments is an art. Psychology Today wrote an explanatory, "how-to" on the topic that was surprisingly helpful. Overall, when your man tells you he loves you, loves your body and thinks your beautiful without makeup, in your sweats, with your hair up, he means it.

Perfect example, one night in bed I asked my boyfriend why he loved my body. This is what he said verbatim: "It's sexy, it's cuddly, it's perfect. You have great boobs, an amazing pussy, and shapely legs. I think you're just beautiful."

He is not the best with expressing his feelings but he got down to the point. I accepted his compliment because he often shows me he adores me and my body. You can accept and internalize compliments, too! Retaining the positive people in your life helps keep your mind, body & sex life in peak performance. Thanks to Flickr for the pic.

#3 Practice self affirmations

Even if you don't feel it at the moment, tell yourself good things about yourself in the mirror or just in general.

The more you tell yourself these things the more you will start to see it and believe it.

Start with the things you love about yourself and then move to the things you're not so keen on and find things about them you do like.

The more you do this the more you will come to love your self as is and the better you will be to your body.

#4 Stay healthy

Don't remember the last time you went outside for a walk, jog or to play your favorite sport? That's not a good sign. Your health affects almost every aspect of your life. Your body is the only vessel you have for your mind, heart and soul. Treat it well, eat properly, go to the spa every once in a while, practice good grooming habits, get active and let your body do what it was made to do.

With love from GetLusty!

This is a guest post by our very own Crimson.

Crimson is our resident BDSM fetish expert. If you don't see Crimson out dining with her adoring boyfriend, you'll find her reading books on innovation or finance. Crimson is currently finishing off her Bachelor's, she is passionate about food, photography, music and especially sex--and she's not afraid to talk about it. With everyone!

Have story ideas? Get in touch with Crimson at amber@getlusty.com.

You have read this article advice / better sex / for couples / for men / for women / health / love / self love with the title health. You can bookmark this page URL https://lamentoeternal.blogspot.com/2012/12/4-ways-to-practice-self-love.html. Thanks!