Podcast! Kelly Shibari Talks Feminist Porn & Self-Acceptance (NSFW)

Kelly Shibari is not your typical adult entertainer. A successful business woman and self-proclaimed "intelligent hedonist," Kelly is out to break stereotypes about porn stars and take on obstacles dealing with body image.

We sat down to chat with her about her unique niche in the porn industry and why she couldn't be happier about it (which we recorded for your listening pleasure).

More on what we talked about:

• Born and raised in Japan, Kelly was aware of her weight at a young age. "I was always a bigger kid...it wasn't until I came to the states that I realized I wasn't as big as people made me out to be," Kelly says.
• Kelly believes working in porn helped improve her self-esteem and body image, and aided in shedding some of the negative thoughts she held as a child about her own body.
• Kelly's most recent film, "Kelly Shibari is Overloaded," is a different kind of porn in that is helps break the stereotype that plus-size porn stars are "just a pretty face" who don't do the extreme sex scenes that are generally reserved for more slender women.
• What makes "Overloaded" feminist porn for Kelly? Its sense of female empowerment and her being in control of the scenes. "If you're a gentleman, you get the sexiest part of me, if you're a jerk you don't get anything sexy about me," she says of her male fans who took part.
• Kelly believes "Overloaded" and similar films allow fans to see that you don't always have to be inside the box - be experimental and branch out, but put safety first, she advises.
• Tips for being comfortable with your own sexuality? Do your research before you experiment and find positive and fun in everything you do, Kelly recommends. Trying new things helps you find out what turns you on and what works for you!

More about Kelly:

Kelly is a voluptuous, naturally busty Asian porn performer/director/producer who has been happily breaking stereotypes about big girls, Asians, and pornstars all at the same time for the past six years. She runs several sites –PaddedKINK (NSFW), a plus-size fetish site; ThePRSMGroup, a social media consultancy for the adult industry, and KellyShibariXXX (NSFW), her personal site for fans of her porn work.

In 2011, she won the Feminist Porn Award for PaddedKINK, and was featured in Rammstein’s music video for their song “Mein Land”. She just released my first self-produced “fanbang” film, “Kelly Shibari Is Overloaded“ (NSFW), and is preparing to be one of the headliners for BBWFanFest, the first-ever adult convention for plus-size adult performers and models. She is also a recurring substitute co-host for Playboy Radio’s “Night Calls” and Spice Radio’s “YouPorn” shows. To connect with Kelly, visit her Facebook page or follow her on Twitter @KellyShibari.

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3 Ways Too Much Porn Could Be Killing Your Erection

We love porn. But could porn effect men differently than women? What are the implications for watching porn? Could porn have an influence on your sex drive or erection? Have your triggers become so extreme and so far removed from actual real-life sex that you are having trouble actually having sex? We've heard this several times from our readers that porn has had a big impact on their sex life. If it's having a negative impact, could you turn that around?

Erectile dysfunction and loss of desire are often blamed entirely on physical problems, with thanks in large part to propaganda specialists (ie drug companies). Rarely do we investigate psychological causes. Often guys are simply too freaked or stressed to get erect and they have physically nothing wrong. GetLusty for Couples's Jason Estrada proposes a theory that might be so obvious and logical that it eludes consideration. Gents, could you be watching too much porn?

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Guys, we all know what erectile dysfunction (ED) is? We’ve all read the articles and seen the hundreds of advertisements for little blue pills. If you suffer from this affliction, you might have went straight to the Viagra website before seeing a doctor. I’m guessing most men with ED didn’t even consider seeing a therapist. Here’s one more thing I’m betting most of you haven’t considered; too much porn.

#1 Extreme-itization

Erectile dysfunction affects more than just retired old men with silver hair - it affects men of all ages. Even young, healthy twenty-somethings have trouble getting it up these days. Think about what porn is today. It gets hotter, nastier, and more extreme every day.

When you look at an old Playboy, can you honestly say that it still turns you on? Of course it doesn’t. Not when there’s readily available hardcore porn on the Internet. And the stuff on the internet isn’t an elegantly airbrushed model in some tasteful pose kind of porn. The porn we watch today has raised our tolerance for the erotic.

Once your computer turns off, you walk away with these new extreme fetishes floating around in your imagination. Your partner comes home and they’re ready for some sexy fun, but there’s a problem. The idea of normal, real-life sex just isn’t doing it for you. She isn’t that porn star, draped in latex and gagging on a red rubber ball. How can you go back to that old fashion sex after experiencing such extreme stimulus? Doggie style and missionary position don't seem as exciting as they used to. So regular sex doesn’t do it for you anymore. Getting turned on has become harder than ever. Excuse the pun.

#2 Lowers your self-esteem

Lets say you don’t like that fetish porn. Maybe you’re fine with watching one person fucking another. No bondage or fisting for you, but you still can’t get excited for real-life sex. Well, raising one’s tolerance beyond a realistic level isn’t the only negative symptom of porn.

You’re watching completely average porn. We’ll say, one guy – one girl. All they’re doing is fucking. There’s nothing out of the ordinary realm of real-life sex except for one thing. All male porn stars are sex gods! First of all, they can fuck for hours (it seems). Most of us are proud as hell if we make it to 30 minutes. Especially after we enter our 30s and 40s. The second issue is this sex god on our computer screen has this monster of a dick, 12 inches long and 4 inches wide. By now I’m sure we’ve all realized men’s obsession with penis size. For some, our penis size determines our amount of confidence, and has a dramatic effect on our personality. You know that part in movies where the man pulls out a gigantic gun and the woman says something about him over-compensating for his small penis?


Just like in all other mainstream media outlets, porn has perverted our perspective of reality. We can never live up to porn’s standard of “real” manliness.

#3 Fear

Have you ever paid attention to the advertisements on porn websites and magazines? They are filled with ED medication, penis enlargement and “how To fuck a girl" ads. An extremely important fact to remember is that ED pills are developed for older men whose problems stem from aging and blocked blood vessels in the penis. They are not for gents with self-esteem issues, and they definitely not for “sport fucking”. Also important, is that these advertisers are feeding off our fear of impotence. Fear is where impotence starts – fear that you can’t perform like that porn star, fear that your partner won’t scream and holler like the girl in the porn.

How can we survive without porn?

I’m not telling you to stop watching porn, but maybe switch to different genres. Find some porn sites that don’t flood you with unrealistic fantasies. That beautiful woman/man who sleeps next to you every night – that person should be your fantasy. If you can’t experience it with her/him, then don’t experience it with some porn stars on your computer.

Jason Estrada is currently working on his master's for creative writing, in the hopes of becoming a very rich screenwriter some day. His other interests include photography, cinematography, and video editing. His favorite book is The Great Gatsby. Favorite movie is either The Crow or When Harry Met Sally - can't decide. And his all time favorite show is Doctor Who.

When he's not enjoying any of those things, you can find him at home, drinking and smoking way too much while listening to VNV Nation. Connect with him via email at jason@getlusty.com or subscribe via Facebook.

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Our 10 Favorite Feminist Porn Stars

We love porn! If you do too, and we assume you do, otherwise you wouldn't be reading this article, then you need to know about the following women. These aren't any ordinary porn stars. These are our top ten favorite feminist porn stars. GetLusty's Stephanie Kathleen takes a peek into the provocative lives of some incredibly unique feminists.

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#1 Dylan Ryan

The gorgeous and outspoken Ryan began her film career in 2004 at the urging of director and producer Shine Louise Heart. In 2009, she was the recipient of a Feminist Porn Award for Heartthrob of the Year. One of the top stars of the queer porn genre, Ryan strives to make unique and authentic films. Check out her blog, triple-xxx-ploits, to see her recent interview with Tristan Taormino. Also, follow her on Twitter @thedylanryan

#2 Belladonna

Since beginning her career in the adult entertainment industry in 1999, this stunning film star has practically revolutionized the industry. In 2003, she started her own production company, Belladonna Entertainment. She now produces and directs some of the most popular hardcore adult films in the world. We couldn’t possibly omit her from our list of favorites, as she is clearly a badass. Follow her on Twitter @BelladonnaENT

#3 Lily Cade

Though she is somewhat new to the adult film scene, this one-time dominatrix has already made a name for herself. A rising star in the lesbian porn genre, Cade made her directorial debut in 2011 with Art School Dykes. The film was nominated for a Feminist Porn Award. When she’s not busy filming, Cade is an outspoken activist. Yea, she pretty much rocks. Follow her on Twitter @lily_cade

#4 Judy Minx

It’s hard not to love Madame Minx. The French adult film actress is also a sex performer, a sex educator, and a queer/feminist/sex-positive activist…and she’s only 23! Oh, and did we mention she also holds a degree in English? Keep an eye on this porn prodigy, as we’re sure to see a lot more of her in the future. Follow her on Twitter @judyminx

#5 Ela Darling

This former librarian decided to make a major career change three years ago and began starring in lesbian, bondage and fetish porn. Prior to pursuing a career in porn, Darling earned both a Bachelor’s and Master’s degree. We gladly include her among our favorites because we think self-possessed, intelligent porn stars are incredibly sexy. If you don’t believe us, check out her website and see for yourself! Follow her on Twitter @ElaDarling

#6 Bobbi Starr


This pro-sex feminist porn star began her career doing bondage and submission scenes for internet-based companies. We love Ms. Starr’s philosophy when it comes to feminism and porn: “I believe that if women realize that sex is something that is there for them as well, then it is not necessary to hate sex to be a feminist. It is not just pleasurable for one person but is pleasurable for that person's partner as well.” She currently writes, directs and performs for the website Electrosluts, which she created. Check out her work here. Follow her on Twitter @Bobbistarr


#7 April Flores

A star of the BBW scene, April Flores describes herself as “a fearless voluptuous star with scarlet hair, proponent of the queer community, feminist, sex-positive activist, outspoken advocate of body diversity, glamorous art model, avid kink fan, Sub and Dom both, and all around powerful woman.” With numerous magazine covers and modeling appearances to her name, Miss Flores considers herself an activist for positive body image. Visit her website and you’ll quickly see why she made our list of favorites! Follow her on Twitter @Fatty_D

#8 Madison Young

Indie porn pioneer Madison Young considers herself “one of the world’s kinkiest feminists. “Her films are known for exploring the more artistic and authentic aspects of the pornographic experience. She also runs a nonprofit art gallery and performance space, which serves the LGBT and Kink communities. Do yourself a favor and pay a visit to her website. Now! Follow her on Twitter @madisonyoung

#9 Kelly Shibari

Not only is Kelly Shibari a prolific BBW porn actress, she’s also a successful businesswoman with a MENSA-level IQ. She also runs her own PR and social media marketing firm. In short, the woman is driven and she knows what she wants. Through her websites she is revolutionizing the BBW and BDSM genres. Our interview with Kelly is coming out soon. Stay tuned! Follow her on Twitter: Follow her on Twitter @KellyShibari

#10 Maggie Mayhem

As one half of the dynamic duo behind the porn website Meet The Mayhems, Maggie Mayhem is a porn star with an eclectic style. In her words: “When it comes to sex, Maggie identifies as a queer, slutty kinkster. Neither wholly dominant nor submissive Maggie is always on the lookout for wild, adventurous fun with anyone who sparks her interest.” We’re crushing on Maggie not just because of her amazing on-screen talent, but also because of the dedicated work she has done and continues to do in the way of HIV prevention. Check her out! Follow her on Twitter @MsMaggieMayhem

We're excited to have Stephanie Kathleen on as a staff writer! Stephanie has long believed she is a gay man trapped in a woman's body. She is a lover of good food, good sex and good grammar. A recent transplant to Chicago, she spends her free time with her super-duper-fly boyfriend and their three "kids" (2 cats, 1 dog). She has a blog. She's still trying to get the whole Twitter thing down. You can follow her @Vanderfloozie. Want to get in touch with her? E-mail stephanie@getlusty.com.

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