As anal August came to a close, we're sure you're not done with anal. It requires much preparation and knowledge. That's why GetLusty will continue to offer numerous anal tips and tricks.
Would you like to receive anal but it's just not happening? This question was asked to Dr. Dick, one of our favorite sex educators from Seattle.
Since the weekends are a great time to answer your question, we're posting up both question and answer for your pleasure! Thanks to AskMen for the pic.
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Question
Dear Dr. Dick,
Help! I want to be a bottom; at least I think I do. My boyfriend’s been begging for my booty big time, but I’m just too tight down there and he’s really big. Our play time always ends the same way, frustration for him and a pain in the ass for me.
How do those porno guys do it?
Signed,
Wondering
Answer
Dear Wondering,
First off, darling, “porno guys,” as you so lovingly refer to them, are professionals. Dr. Dick suggests that a novice butt pirate, like you, not try all that fancy stuff at home before you know the basics.
So ya finally decided to become a B.O.B. (big old bottom)? Tired of missing out on all that ass-play everyone’s talkin’ about? Been secretly trippin’ on the exploits of your favorite porn stars? (“Jeez, would ya get a load of that. His hole looks like the Victory Arch in Paris, for god sake.”) And now you want a piece of the action for yourself?
But wait, there’s a wrinkle, you’re a virgin or worse yet, there’s been an “Exit Only” sign on your poop chute for so long that the mere thought of someone diddlin’ your bunghole makes you blanch and swoon.
Listen up, bottom wannabes; pleasurable buggering is dependent upon on three very simple, but oh so important things: 1) The will, 2) Being relaxed and 3) A considerate partner. I go on.
#1 You gotta really want to get fucked
This may sound elementary, but it’s not. Some of my clients secretly confess that they don’t anyone near their precious tushie, and no amount of pleading and whimpering on the part of their long-suffering partner(s) is gonna change that.
For some getting it up the ass is associated with domination not pleasure. Manly men don’t bottom for nobody. Oh sure Mary, me thinks you doth protest too much. Others have religious reservations. If god wanted me to get fucked he would have given me a vagina. Still others have aesthetic concerns. Oh no, that’s way too icky and messy. I can assure you that these boys and girls ain’t never gonna be a ass-fuckin’ bottom no how.
#2 Chill out
Let’s just say your dyin’ to get loving, but you’re so intimidated by your top’s one-eyed monster (or the size of her strap-on) that your quivering asshole is like totally shut down.
Chill out! Why not begin your sex play with your partner giving you a relaxing sensual back rub. After awhile he/she could move on to a little butt play (and I do me play). Pic from Leylai's blog.
The object here is pleasure not penetration. Have him/her tease your asshole with his/her finger. A tongue works nicely too. This is called rimming, but you probably already knew that, because you’re not a complete idiot, huh?
A gentle circular motion works best. Have him use his hands to spread your ass cheeks. This stretching motion will increase your pleasure as well as give him easier access to your rosebud. After a while, a lubricated finger can be inserted for a bit of a prostate massage, which is ohhh sooo delicious.
Chill out! Why not begin your sex play with your partner giving you a relaxing sensual back rub. After awhile he/she could move on to a little butt play (and I do me play). Pic from Leylai's blog.
The object here is pleasure not penetration. Have him/her tease your asshole with his/her finger. A tongue works nicely too. This is called rimming, but you probably already knew that, because you’re not a complete idiot, huh?
A gentle circular motion works best. Have him use his hands to spread your ass cheeks. This stretching motion will increase your pleasure as well as give him easier access to your rosebud. After a while, a lubricated finger can be inserted for a bit of a prostate massage, which is ohhh sooo delicious.
Tip: Lots of women report getting some mighty fine G-spot stimulation through ass play. No surprise there, since researchers believe that the female G-spot is made of analogous tissue to the male P-spot or prostate.
When you’re ready to kick it up a notch, have your partner try inserting two fingers or a small dildo. Rhythmic deep breathing will help keep you relaxed. And when you’re all loosened up and ready to become like one of them “porno guys,” you can have him plug in the real thing. No more meat substitutes for you, huh?
Experiment with different positions. Try sittin’ down on that big old thang, or have your top do you doggie style. Getting laid while on your side with your partner comin’ at ya from behind gives you a bit more control over the depth of his/her thrusting. And of course, there’s also the traditional missionary position; you on your back, legs spread eagle and your pumps pointing to the stars.
If your top is smart he/she will make good use of his/her hands during the ass-ult. A talented top will make sure that your cock or clit is well attended to, which will assist in loosening you up as well as adding to your total enjoyment.
#3 Make sure your partner is considerateHaving a big dick (or a immense strap-on) doesn't automatically make a your partner a good top.
A considerate partner, big dong or not, will happily join you in exploring your asshole.
He/she will concentrate on pleasing you first, because he/she knows that an investment in your anal pleasure today will reap a harvest of mutual pleasure tomorrow. Thanks to Wikipedia for the pic.
#4 Be clean
Finally, there’s the little issue of anal hygiene, don’t cha know. When it comes to fucking, a clean ass is a happy ass. Remember when you bottom, your anal hygiene is your responsibility. I advise you to stay away from over-the-counter douches, unless they’re the organic kind. The other ones can contain harsh chemical laxatives, and you sure as hell don’t want that! However, you may find the little bottle they come in very handy.
Here’s what I suggest, dump the over-the-counter bottle’s contents and refill it with warm salt water. A mixture of warm water with a dash of vinegar or lemon juice works just as well. This simple solution is both a healthier and cheaper way to keep things spic ‘n span in your nether regions.
The more you know about anal health and hygiene, before you give up your ass for the first time, the more likely both you and your top will enjoy yourselves.
Good luck!
Dr. Dick is the founder and current director of Daddy Oohhh! Productions; quality adult entertainment, enrichment and education. His therapeutic training includes The Institute for Advanced Study in Human Sexuality San Francisco, The University of California, San Francisco Human Sexuality Unit, and The Pacific Center for Human Growth, Berkeley. He is a Board certified by The American College of Sexologists, The American Board of Sexology and The American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists. Besides my sexological training I carry a Masters degree in Theology from the Jesuit School of Theology, Berkeley. Learn more on his website.
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